Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one."
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Candidates
Until Richard Milhous Nixon ran for President in 1972, I was not really into politics and presidential elections. Tricky Dick changed all of that. Well, I guess I can't really blame it all on him since I had just started College and was exposed to the leftist thinking of the time. I’ll admit it, I was an avid supporter of George McGovern, and both NK and I worked his campaign from the outset, even before Shriver became the VP candidate. While have voted in every presidential election since, I have not worked to support a candidate since 1972 and I probably won’t again in my lifetime. But I do have strong opinions on the path our nation should take and who should be leading us so I’m going to get political for awhile.
Sometimes I’m will take a position on a particular candidate, sometimes I’ll just post what a candidate says that they stand for at let you think about it. I’m going to go through every declared candidate for President, Republican and Democrat. Much of the information will come from the candidate’s WEB site. Some of it may be the opinion of others (I will credit them when appropriate).
The first victim will be Mitt Romney or just plain old Mitt (Lettermen likes to stretch it out like Mittttttt), PETA’s choice for man of the year. For those of you that may not be aware, the Romney family pet, an Irish Setter, was placed in a carrier and strapped to the top of the car. By the time the family got to their destination (a 12-hour drive from Boston to Ontario), there was dog shit everywhere. While PETA does not have a position on Romney's candidacy per se, the President of PETA, Ingrid Newkirk called the incident "a lesson in cruelty that was ... wrong for [his children] to witness...Thinking of the wind, the weather, the speed, the vulnerability, the isolation on the roof, it is common sense that any dog who's under extreme stress might show that stress by losing control of his bowels: that alone should have been sufficient indication that the dog was, basically, being tortured." Romney, of course, has expressed support for the use of "enhanced interrogation" techniques when it comes to terrorists; his campaign refused to comment about the treatment of his dog (credit Time Magazine…"Romney’s Cruel Canine Vacation", 6/27/07).
What will he do if elected?
Crime:
Well according to the Romney agenda as noted on his WEB site, as President, Governor Romney will propose new, tougher federal penalties for first-time offenders who use the Internet to sexually assault children, including stiff mandatory jail time to be followed by lifetime tracking by Global Positioning Satellite (GPS). This will represent a "One-Strike, You're Ours" law for child predators.
Taxes:
"It's absolutely critical that we don't have that massive tax hike and instead we make the Bush tax cuts permanent." "We should strive to keep marginal tax rates on America's families and businesses no higher than those imposed by our major global competitors. We should end tax penalties against saving and investment, and promote fairness and simplicity by ending special interest loopholes and lowering tax rates for all Americans."
Protecting children and lowering taxes, the first two of three agenda items for Romney. Touch the soul and the pocketbook hot buttons. His final agenda item; don’t talk to 3rd world dictators – here he criticizes Obama’s response to a question during one of the debates. "During a nationally televised debate, Obama responded to a hypothetical question: 'Would you be willing to meet separately, without precondition, during the first year of your administration, in Washington or anywhere else, with the leaders of Iran, Syria, Venezuela, Cuba and North Korea, in order to bridge the gap that divides our countries?' The senator from Illinois responded: 'I would, and the reason is this: the notion that somehow not talking to countries is somehow punishing them, which has been the guiding diplomatic principle of this administration, is ridiculous.' "
So then, Mitt Romney, if elected president will go after Internet predators, retain (and possibly expand) the Bush tax policy, and choose to ignore leaders of unfriendly nations. "Instead of embracing these brutal dictators, we need to work with (covertly) freedom-loving people in their countries" (my emphasis). If you would like to know more, go to:
http://www.mittromney.com/Issue-Watch/Romney_Agenda
Sometimes I’m will take a position on a particular candidate, sometimes I’ll just post what a candidate says that they stand for at let you think about it. I’m going to go through every declared candidate for President, Republican and Democrat. Much of the information will come from the candidate’s WEB site. Some of it may be the opinion of others (I will credit them when appropriate).
The first victim will be Mitt Romney or just plain old Mitt (Lettermen likes to stretch it out like Mittttttt), PETA’s choice for man of the year. For those of you that may not be aware, the Romney family pet, an Irish Setter, was placed in a carrier and strapped to the top of the car. By the time the family got to their destination (a 12-hour drive from Boston to Ontario), there was dog shit everywhere. While PETA does not have a position on Romney's candidacy per se, the President of PETA, Ingrid Newkirk called the incident "a lesson in cruelty that was ... wrong for [his children] to witness...Thinking of the wind, the weather, the speed, the vulnerability, the isolation on the roof, it is common sense that any dog who's under extreme stress might show that stress by losing control of his bowels: that alone should have been sufficient indication that the dog was, basically, being tortured." Romney, of course, has expressed support for the use of "enhanced interrogation" techniques when it comes to terrorists; his campaign refused to comment about the treatment of his dog (credit Time Magazine…"Romney’s Cruel Canine Vacation", 6/27/07).
What will he do if elected?
Crime:
Well according to the Romney agenda as noted on his WEB site, as President, Governor Romney will propose new, tougher federal penalties for first-time offenders who use the Internet to sexually assault children, including stiff mandatory jail time to be followed by lifetime tracking by Global Positioning Satellite (GPS). This will represent a "One-Strike, You're Ours" law for child predators.
Taxes:
"It's absolutely critical that we don't have that massive tax hike and instead we make the Bush tax cuts permanent." "We should strive to keep marginal tax rates on America's families and businesses no higher than those imposed by our major global competitors. We should end tax penalties against saving and investment, and promote fairness and simplicity by ending special interest loopholes and lowering tax rates for all Americans."
Protecting children and lowering taxes, the first two of three agenda items for Romney. Touch the soul and the pocketbook hot buttons. His final agenda item; don’t talk to 3rd world dictators – here he criticizes Obama’s response to a question during one of the debates. "During a nationally televised debate, Obama responded to a hypothetical question: 'Would you be willing to meet separately, without precondition, during the first year of your administration, in Washington or anywhere else, with the leaders of Iran, Syria, Venezuela, Cuba and North Korea, in order to bridge the gap that divides our countries?' The senator from Illinois responded: 'I would, and the reason is this: the notion that somehow not talking to countries is somehow punishing them, which has been the guiding diplomatic principle of this administration, is ridiculous.' "
So then, Mitt Romney, if elected president will go after Internet predators, retain (and possibly expand) the Bush tax policy, and choose to ignore leaders of unfriendly nations. "Instead of embracing these brutal dictators, we need to work with (covertly) freedom-loving people in their countries" (my emphasis). If you would like to know more, go to:
http://www.mittromney.com/Issue-Watch/Romney_Agenda
Monday, July 30, 2007
Silence
At the risk of being repetitive, it's great to be home, your own bed, your own shower and coffee from your own pot. Well 2 out of 3 ain't bad (to quote another song). When we woke up this morning there was silence, not a sound. NK got up and said "that's weird". It seems the ceiling fan was still. Of course she flipped the switch a few times to make sure it was not going to come back on. It was then she determined that we had no power. I checked the circuit breaker just to make sure before I called the power companies automated power outage reporting system. You just can't talk to a person at all these days!
After punching all of the buttons on my touch tone phone I was told that CB had city wide outages with anticipated restoration around 9AM. We got our power back about 5 minutes later, just after I lit the candle in the bathroom (I heard this whrrrrrrrrr and then the refrigerator kicked in so I knew we were in business).
I wonder how many people were late for work because they couldn't get their garage door open (did not think to pull the rope to disconnect the latch)?
After punching all of the buttons on my touch tone phone I was told that CB had city wide outages with anticipated restoration around 9AM. We got our power back about 5 minutes later, just after I lit the candle in the bathroom (I heard this whrrrrrrrrr and then the refrigerator kicked in so I knew we were in business).
I wonder how many people were late for work because they couldn't get their garage door open (did not think to pull the rope to disconnect the latch)?
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Homeward Bound
Like John Denver once sang, "Hey it's great to be back home again". We boarded our plane out of LAX at 5:30 Pacific time this morning. At about 8:45AM the wheels finally left the ground. It seems there was a malfunctioning warning alarm with no corresponding telltale sign of anything wrong. So after driving the plane around the airport (I think they were ordered to check to see what kind of gas mileage they could get) while the crew reset a few circuit breakers we finally arrived back at the gate.
But before I finish the story, I must go back in time to our original departure date for our trip to La La land.
While I sat wondering how loud the baby behind me was going to be (actually not bad) and mostly ignoring the safety Nazi's presentation for people too stupid to figure out how to slide the silver slot into the buckle, the kid in the window seat pondered (out loud) how cool it would be to crash land in the water. My thought was that it would not really be cool at all and the longer I sat on the plane I was wishing that I had a fatter ass or the cushion had more padding.
When we finally got to Denver, it seems everyone at the airport there was surprised that a plane had landed. After our taxi ride to the gate, quite rudely, no one was waiting for us.....no one at the Jetway. This was the 2nd time in two tries through Denver that the entire airport staff was astounded that a plane would have to audacity to show up unannounced. The first time we had snow removal equipment blocking the path to the gate and when we got to our connection the door was closed and the local agent would not let us on, even though the posted departure time was still 10 minutes away. Needless to say, we have become somewhat disenchanted with the crew at DIA. I'm not even going to get into our rental car experience!
Now back to the future, today that is. In one respect we were fortunate even though there was a 2 1/2 hour delay from LAX (I must disregard the fact that the only nourishment available was an old, stale biscotti and a couple of breakfast bars). Our fortune rested on the 3 1/2 hour layover in Denver. We had hoped to get some food there but when we finally arrived we had about 20 minutes (and 8 gates to go) before our next plane departed. When we got to the designated gate, guess what????? --- no plane, no agent, no nothing. So, being the curious type I went back to check the departure monitor again and yep, there it was, Omaha - gate 45 but still there was no one and nothing there. I finally found an agent willing to talk although I had clearly annoyed him by interrupting his flirtation with a young lady and he pointed to a gate that said the flight for Oklahoma City was now boarding. Since it stared with an O we decided to give it a chance and lo and behold we found gold.
Remember the baby (above)? Well I found another one on the last leg and I specifically remember asking to be seated in the no baby zone. The poor thing (about 4 months old) did not like to fly but the noise he made was not as irritating as the tinker bell flight attendant breaking up ice was. I think he was using a chopstick to break it up and I could picture him crawling down the isle with a large stick up his bum (tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap)...enough already.
The moral of this story is if you must travel (fly), don't go through Denver, they won't be expecting you and also try to avoid LAX, there are just to many people. I must say though that they do a good job of moving people through checkout and security at LAX. I think they got their training at Disneyland.
But before I finish the story, I must go back in time to our original departure date for our trip to La La land.
While I sat wondering how loud the baby behind me was going to be (actually not bad) and mostly ignoring the safety Nazi's presentation for people too stupid to figure out how to slide the silver slot into the buckle, the kid in the window seat pondered (out loud) how cool it would be to crash land in the water. My thought was that it would not really be cool at all and the longer I sat on the plane I was wishing that I had a fatter ass or the cushion had more padding.
When we finally got to Denver, it seems everyone at the airport there was surprised that a plane had landed. After our taxi ride to the gate, quite rudely, no one was waiting for us.....no one at the Jetway. This was the 2nd time in two tries through Denver that the entire airport staff was astounded that a plane would have to audacity to show up unannounced. The first time we had snow removal equipment blocking the path to the gate and when we got to our connection the door was closed and the local agent would not let us on, even though the posted departure time was still 10 minutes away. Needless to say, we have become somewhat disenchanted with the crew at DIA. I'm not even going to get into our rental car experience!
Now back to the future, today that is. In one respect we were fortunate even though there was a 2 1/2 hour delay from LAX (I must disregard the fact that the only nourishment available was an old, stale biscotti and a couple of breakfast bars). Our fortune rested on the 3 1/2 hour layover in Denver. We had hoped to get some food there but when we finally arrived we had about 20 minutes (and 8 gates to go) before our next plane departed. When we got to the designated gate, guess what????? --- no plane, no agent, no nothing. So, being the curious type I went back to check the departure monitor again and yep, there it was, Omaha - gate 45 but still there was no one and nothing there. I finally found an agent willing to talk although I had clearly annoyed him by interrupting his flirtation with a young lady and he pointed to a gate that said the flight for Oklahoma City was now boarding. Since it stared with an O we decided to give it a chance and lo and behold we found gold.
Remember the baby (above)? Well I found another one on the last leg and I specifically remember asking to be seated in the no baby zone. The poor thing (about 4 months old) did not like to fly but the noise he made was not as irritating as the tinker bell flight attendant breaking up ice was. I think he was using a chopstick to break it up and I could picture him crawling down the isle with a large stick up his bum (tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap)...enough already.
The moral of this story is if you must travel (fly), don't go through Denver, they won't be expecting you and also try to avoid LAX, there are just to many people. I must say though that they do a good job of moving people through checkout and security at LAX. I think they got their training at Disneyland.
Friday, July 27, 2007
MMMMMMMMMMMM Ice Cream
More pics:
Enjoying some liquid refreshment on day 1.
At the Mad Hatters
Disneyland Trashcan Band
There is a place in the town that NK and I grew up in that pulls on us like a magnet every time we are within 50 miles of the place. It is legendary for it's ice cream, especially the chocolate and in the good ole summertime, fresh peach.......it even has chunks of peaches in almost every bite.
So far we have been back there twice, the first time we each got a large chocolate shake (and even at $5 something each it is worth it), yesterday we shared a peach. I think I will get another peach tomorrow on the way back to LA LA land and the airport.
There are other things we look for whenever we visit the old stomping grounds, things like good Chinese food, good Mexican food and salami (no such thing as good dry italian salami at home so we always take some back) . If I had to rank the above, the Chinese food comes first, then the salami, then the Mexican food but only because there are some good Mexican restaurants in Omaha. The Chinese food there does not compare to what you can get in California, I only wish we were closer to SF right now.
Since we will head toward home tomorrow I'll be silent for a day but I should have a good air travel story to share since that is always an adventure.
Enjoying some liquid refreshment on day 1.
At the Mad Hatters
Disneyland Trashcan Band
There is a place in the town that NK and I grew up in that pulls on us like a magnet every time we are within 50 miles of the place. It is legendary for it's ice cream, especially the chocolate and in the good ole summertime, fresh peach.......it even has chunks of peaches in almost every bite.
So far we have been back there twice, the first time we each got a large chocolate shake (and even at $5 something each it is worth it), yesterday we shared a peach. I think I will get another peach tomorrow on the way back to LA LA land and the airport.
There are other things we look for whenever we visit the old stomping grounds, things like good Chinese food, good Mexican food and salami (no such thing as good dry italian salami at home so we always take some back) . If I had to rank the above, the Chinese food comes first, then the salami, then the Mexican food but only because there are some good Mexican restaurants in Omaha. The Chinese food there does not compare to what you can get in California, I only wish we were closer to SF right now.
Since we will head toward home tomorrow I'll be silent for a day but I should have a good air travel story to share since that is always an adventure.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Home Again
Today we went to NK's Mom & Dads for a little visit. Her mom is what I would call a closet racist. Today it was directed at the Chinese in the small town we grew up in. She said she hated the chink that was running the local dairy. Most of the time she hates the spics, sometimes the Japanese (although for the life of me I can't figure out why she likes them most of the time and why she separates them from the Chinese). She always hates the dark ones. She considers herself to be a fine upstanding christian woman so I always have a real problem with that and with every visit we make her attitude seems to get worse. Maybe it's not that you can 't go home again, you just don't want to.
Oh, one thing that floored me. When NK was talking about getting a spider bite on her thigh, her mom said make sure they don't nest in your TWAT. NK said "that's my mom", I learned that word from her. This got me thinking about the origin of the word (I do that sometimes). According to most sites, it appears to be of Norse origin (cut or slit) from the mid 1600's, though the exact origin is listed as unknown. There was also a reference to clearing a forest, maybe that's what they are doing when the lumber company clear cuts an area, keeping the Twats safe from spiders. That is probably why Pres. Regan was such an avid clear cut advocate, he wanted to keep spiders from Nancy's slit.
Here are some more pics from DL:
K and Snow White at Dinner on Saturday
With NK's hat.
Oh, one thing that floored me. When NK was talking about getting a spider bite on her thigh, her mom said make sure they don't nest in your TWAT. NK said "that's my mom", I learned that word from her. This got me thinking about the origin of the word (I do that sometimes). According to most sites, it appears to be of Norse origin (cut or slit) from the mid 1600's, though the exact origin is listed as unknown. There was also a reference to clearing a forest, maybe that's what they are doing when the lumber company clear cuts an area, keeping the Twats safe from spiders. That is probably why Pres. Regan was such an avid clear cut advocate, he wanted to keep spiders from Nancy's slit.
Here are some more pics from DL:
K and Snow White at Dinner on Saturday
From left to right, a Purple Haze and a Zoolander at the UVA Bar.
We tried to have a few each night.
CK was glaring at someone here!
This was before she had her Zoolander!
With NK's hat.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
The Aftermath
Now that CK is done whining about the 7.5 million people in the way of that one very special person I'll post a few pictures:
1. Nana, K, CK & Mr. K on the Teacups.
2. Mr. K at the Dude Ranch
3. CK, K, DK and NK in a Teacup
4. CK bites the bone ball
5. Pensive K
Of course all had a great time, just stay away from New Orleans Square during the fireworks.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Going, Going, Gone
Since we will be off to fantasyland (southern california) early tomorrow I will not post again until Wednesday when we get to GGKaos' place. I'll try to get some pics posted then.
Ta Ta.
Ta Ta.
PG-13
A few post’s back, Camikaos mentioned a shopping trip for some new bras to lift her spirits and keep the girls happy after her laptop decided it did not like her anymore.
That got me a thinkin about what a guy might do (that was the subject tip). While some may fancy a new bra (I don’t know any but they are out there), most guys only want to protect the boys. But shopping for a couple pair of crotch keepers just doesn’t do much for me or, I would imagine, any other guy. We only buy them when we don’t have any choice and when it is real hot, I don’t especially care about them at all and sometimes the boys do like their freedom.
Aside from that, most guys I know don’t shop, they buy. They know what they are going to get, where to look and they get it. That is what separates the sexes. But none of that answers the question about what a guy does when they hit a downer and the amazing thing is, I haven’t the foggiest….maybe I’ll pop some corn, drink a beer, watch a movie and think about it some.
That got me a thinkin about what a guy might do (that was the subject tip). While some may fancy a new bra (I don’t know any but they are out there), most guys only want to protect the boys. But shopping for a couple pair of crotch keepers just doesn’t do much for me or, I would imagine, any other guy. We only buy them when we don’t have any choice and when it is real hot, I don’t especially care about them at all and sometimes the boys do like their freedom.
Aside from that, most guys I know don’t shop, they buy. They know what they are going to get, where to look and they get it. That is what separates the sexes. But none of that answers the question about what a guy does when they hit a downer and the amazing thing is, I haven’t the foggiest….maybe I’ll pop some corn, drink a beer, watch a movie and think about it some.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Concerned Citizen Award to FEMA?
F.E.M.A
Now some of you may think you know what that acronym stands for, the Federal Emergency Management Agency, right? Wrong. F.E.M.A actually stands for Fuck Every Miserable American (and those who soon will be).
Its latest endeavors have again impacted the victims of Katrina and Rita. How much more will these people have to suffer? For christs sake, it has been almost 2 years now and it has just come out that the trailers provided as shelter are laced with formaldehyde.
Since it was discovered in 2006, the agencies legal beagles decided that it would not be in FEMA’s interest to conduct testing to confirm the existence of the problem. They rejected environmental testing out of fear that the agency would then become legally liable if health problems emerged among as many as 120,000 families displaced by the hurricane.
This is one of our finest hours (tongue in cheek and governments hand up our ass) and to me it’s worse than what Ford did after they discovered the flaws with the Pinto gas tank. We have a Federal Agency covering up the possibility of health problems that already suffering people may face just to avoid some liability. Well guess what jackoff’s, the liability is still there and now it may cost even more (and a few deaths, but you don’t really care if a few people die do you?). What’s really sad is that there are still around 60,000 still living in trailers, apparently with no plans to remedy that either (hell, we don’t have a plan to extricate our troops, why should we have a plan to help Katrina victims?).
And I haven’t even mentioned the 12.5 million-dollar ice storage bill. They continue to play ping-pong with the ice, shipping it from one facility to another at a cost of about $9,000.00 per move. Not to worry though, no one will ever see any of it, much of it has exceeded its shelf life and is being destroyed.
It sure is a good thing this is the best country in the world, I'd hate to think of what it would be like to live here if it wasn't!
Now some of you may think you know what that acronym stands for, the Federal Emergency Management Agency, right? Wrong. F.E.M.A actually stands for Fuck Every Miserable American (and those who soon will be).
Its latest endeavors have again impacted the victims of Katrina and Rita. How much more will these people have to suffer? For christs sake, it has been almost 2 years now and it has just come out that the trailers provided as shelter are laced with formaldehyde.
Since it was discovered in 2006, the agencies legal beagles decided that it would not be in FEMA’s interest to conduct testing to confirm the existence of the problem. They rejected environmental testing out of fear that the agency would then become legally liable if health problems emerged among as many as 120,000 families displaced by the hurricane.
This is one of our finest hours (tongue in cheek and governments hand up our ass) and to me it’s worse than what Ford did after they discovered the flaws with the Pinto gas tank. We have a Federal Agency covering up the possibility of health problems that already suffering people may face just to avoid some liability. Well guess what jackoff’s, the liability is still there and now it may cost even more (and a few deaths, but you don’t really care if a few people die do you?). What’s really sad is that there are still around 60,000 still living in trailers, apparently with no plans to remedy that either (hell, we don’t have a plan to extricate our troops, why should we have a plan to help Katrina victims?).
And I haven’t even mentioned the 12.5 million-dollar ice storage bill. They continue to play ping-pong with the ice, shipping it from one facility to another at a cost of about $9,000.00 per move. Not to worry though, no one will ever see any of it, much of it has exceeded its shelf life and is being destroyed.
It sure is a good thing this is the best country in the world, I'd hate to think of what it would be like to live here if it wasn't!
Anniversary
On November 10, 1968, while sitting in my Plymouth Road Runner (metallic blue, circa 1968) I proposed to NK while we were parked behind Bert’s Drive In (good chili boats and better french fries). I took it back shortly thereafter because I realized it was the anniversary of the founding of the Marine Corps and I did not want to remember that day that way. So, the official date became 11/11/68 (of course that is Veterans Day but that was OK as long as the USMC was not directly involved). Another part of that was that on 11/10/66, I was wounded for the first time and I don’t really like to think about that too much either.
Eight months later (38 years ago today), NK and I tied the proverbial knot. Now this leads me to another life’s most embarrassing moments. This happened while getting dressed for the Wedding. I was at my parent’s house and naturally they had a house full of guests, one of them was a person I really had no use for.
The embarrassment started with her. When I put my Tux pants on and attempted to zip up the fly, the fly died on me. The damned thing came apart like a tree hit by lightening, just split right down the middle. Needless to say, this was somewhat disconcerting. I was going to be married in about 2 hours with an air conditioned willie if we couldn’t get it fixed.
While I’m standing in the living room talking to someone and pondering the dilemma, this lady (using the term verrrrrry loosely) comes up and starts to reach for my crotch. Not on your life, woman. I guess she thought she had magic fingers that would repair the zipper with a little touch. The bad part is, I couldn’t react fast enough to get away from her. I’m just glad there aren’t any pictures. I just wouldn’t look right her pulling at my crotch like that.
The zipper was finally patched together with a couple of safety pins so I went through the wedding and reception with a no fly zone. If I had to go, the pants had to hit the floor.
Happy Anniversary NK
Eight months later (38 years ago today), NK and I tied the proverbial knot. Now this leads me to another life’s most embarrassing moments. This happened while getting dressed for the Wedding. I was at my parent’s house and naturally they had a house full of guests, one of them was a person I really had no use for.
The embarrassment started with her. When I put my Tux pants on and attempted to zip up the fly, the fly died on me. The damned thing came apart like a tree hit by lightening, just split right down the middle. Needless to say, this was somewhat disconcerting. I was going to be married in about 2 hours with an air conditioned willie if we couldn’t get it fixed.
While I’m standing in the living room talking to someone and pondering the dilemma, this lady (using the term verrrrrry loosely) comes up and starts to reach for my crotch. Not on your life, woman. I guess she thought she had magic fingers that would repair the zipper with a little touch. The bad part is, I couldn’t react fast enough to get away from her. I’m just glad there aren’t any pictures. I just wouldn’t look right her pulling at my crotch like that.
The zipper was finally patched together with a couple of safety pins so I went through the wedding and reception with a no fly zone. If I had to go, the pants had to hit the floor.
Happy Anniversary NK
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Dining Out
There has been another challenge this week, that of the five favorite eating establishments. Well, mine will not be limited to one location since I used to be a very well traveled individual and I will not really limit them to five (well no more than five per city maybe).. They will include a varied variety of food types as well. Some are in memory order, not necessarily the best and not necessarily the best establishment of fine food.
1st РThe Ritz Caf̩ РEarly, Early Childhood and a little Mexican restaurant my dad and I went to on Fridays before we went to high school football games. He somehow always got access to the sidelines so we were right on top of the action.
2nd - From my early days (childhood), the Yturri. This is a Basque restaurant where all meals (7 courses) were served family style. While the steak was fabulous, my memory always takes me back to the shrimp potato salad. The time with my dad & mom and siblings was priceless. Later years included NK.
3rd– Any home in Vietnam (including the little bar where they served the egg salad sandwiches). I spent quite a bit of time with civilians in Vietnam and was fortunate (????) enough to have been invited into their homes to share meals with them. While most of the time it was limited to rice and fishhead soup (they were peasant farmers after all), it was a large part of my life at that time. As Nixon called it, our job was to Vietnamize the war. So a large part of our time was spent with the local population. While I did not really enjoy fishhead soup (they just kept bringing it and I would try to toss it out the door), we did get quite loaded on the rice wine.
4th – This is where my travels come in (though some are from where we lived). In Memphis, Corky’s BBQ, simply mouthwatering. In New Orleans, just about anyplace, but Carriere’s (a good friends house) stands out. In Houston, Papadeaux’s (soft shelled crab), El Toro (Taco’s al carbon), Louie’s on the Lake, Shanghai Reds, Hickory Hollow (BBQ), Lynchburg Landing and the San Jacinto Inn. (just to name a few). In Denver, there is the Broker, an excellent steakhouse in an old bank vault. El Paso, Phoenix and Tucson, all have excellent Mexican restaurants.
5th – Other places I’ve been or places I’ve lived: San Francisco, Scouma’s (try the Cioppino), Phil Lear’s (probably not there anymore), and a little Chinese restaurant on Post St. in Japantown (you can’t get any better Chinese food than this in any other city). Portland, Oregon – Springwater’s (great weekend brunch), Eleni's Estiatorio – best lamp chops I’ve ever had, Eagles Thai Restaurant and FuJin (you’ve got to try the crispy, spicy eggplant). Oh yeah, I forgot Murillos and Helen and Neds in Vacaville and a little Mongolian BBQ spot in Eugene.
1st РThe Ritz Caf̩ РEarly, Early Childhood and a little Mexican restaurant my dad and I went to on Fridays before we went to high school football games. He somehow always got access to the sidelines so we were right on top of the action.
2nd - From my early days (childhood), the Yturri. This is a Basque restaurant where all meals (7 courses) were served family style. While the steak was fabulous, my memory always takes me back to the shrimp potato salad. The time with my dad & mom and siblings was priceless. Later years included NK.
3rd– Any home in Vietnam (including the little bar where they served the egg salad sandwiches). I spent quite a bit of time with civilians in Vietnam and was fortunate (????) enough to have been invited into their homes to share meals with them. While most of the time it was limited to rice and fishhead soup (they were peasant farmers after all), it was a large part of my life at that time. As Nixon called it, our job was to Vietnamize the war. So a large part of our time was spent with the local population. While I did not really enjoy fishhead soup (they just kept bringing it and I would try to toss it out the door), we did get quite loaded on the rice wine.
4th – This is where my travels come in (though some are from where we lived). In Memphis, Corky’s BBQ, simply mouthwatering. In New Orleans, just about anyplace, but Carriere’s (a good friends house) stands out. In Houston, Papadeaux’s (soft shelled crab), El Toro (Taco’s al carbon), Louie’s on the Lake, Shanghai Reds, Hickory Hollow (BBQ), Lynchburg Landing and the San Jacinto Inn. (just to name a few). In Denver, there is the Broker, an excellent steakhouse in an old bank vault. El Paso, Phoenix and Tucson, all have excellent Mexican restaurants.
5th – Other places I’ve been or places I’ve lived: San Francisco, Scouma’s (try the Cioppino), Phil Lear’s (probably not there anymore), and a little Chinese restaurant on Post St. in Japantown (you can’t get any better Chinese food than this in any other city). Portland, Oregon – Springwater’s (great weekend brunch), Eleni's Estiatorio – best lamp chops I’ve ever had, Eagles Thai Restaurant and FuJin (you’ve got to try the crispy, spicy eggplant). Oh yeah, I forgot Murillos and Helen and Neds in Vacaville and a little Mongolian BBQ spot in Eugene.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Challenge
This is a late response to the challenge from mielikki on lifes embarrassing moments.
We have had a life’s embarrassing moment challenge. While it may not have been as devastating as showing my ass in front of 200 men waiting for chow, it was somewhat disturbing.
While the act itself wasn’t the embarrassing part, the follow-up was. I was home from Vietnam for 30 days and my uncle let me use my cousins MGB while I was home so I thought I was pretty cool driving around town. I was sitting in the car at the local A&W doing some people watching when this very hot young thing caught my eye. Because that happened another hot thing landed right in my belly button.
I had a cigarette dangling from my lips and the damned thing fell from my mouth while I was gawking and commenting to someone else in the car about the shape of the fine young lady. While I was able to remove the butt, the ash stayed put and burned just enough to cause quite a bit of discomfort. My friend laughed his ass off, the gal did not notice but I had to get something to heal the burn.
Now this all happened in 1967 and NK and I had been on again off again and on at the time and it turned out that the only person close by that could help was NK. This was the embarrassing part, I had to explain how I got burned. She still reminds me every once in awhile but at least since I quit smoking at least I won’t do that again.
That is not even close to the embarrassment an unnamed relative would feel if they knew the entire neighborhood was watching the car rocking and rolling early one morning.
I'll cover another embarrassment in my life on 7/19.
We have had a life’s embarrassing moment challenge. While it may not have been as devastating as showing my ass in front of 200 men waiting for chow, it was somewhat disturbing.
While the act itself wasn’t the embarrassing part, the follow-up was. I was home from Vietnam for 30 days and my uncle let me use my cousins MGB while I was home so I thought I was pretty cool driving around town. I was sitting in the car at the local A&W doing some people watching when this very hot young thing caught my eye. Because that happened another hot thing landed right in my belly button.
I had a cigarette dangling from my lips and the damned thing fell from my mouth while I was gawking and commenting to someone else in the car about the shape of the fine young lady. While I was able to remove the butt, the ash stayed put and burned just enough to cause quite a bit of discomfort. My friend laughed his ass off, the gal did not notice but I had to get something to heal the burn.
Now this all happened in 1967 and NK and I had been on again off again and on at the time and it turned out that the only person close by that could help was NK. This was the embarrassing part, I had to explain how I got burned. She still reminds me every once in awhile but at least since I quit smoking at least I won’t do that again.
That is not even close to the embarrassment an unnamed relative would feel if they knew the entire neighborhood was watching the car rocking and rolling early one morning.
I'll cover another embarrassment in my life on 7/19.
This day in history
Good morning class. In today's lesson we will review famous events from previous July 17th's.
First and formost on my mind is the opening of
guess
any one who said Disneyland gets 10 points. Yes, on 7/17/55, Disneyland opened it's magic gates. The first day it was not open to the public, just special guests and the media. When it opened to the public the next day, there was a charge to enter the park and they also sold coupon books with A through C coupons. As the better rides opened the books included D & E coupons. You could also buy the coupons individually. From what I remember, there were never enough E coupons and of course every thrill ride was referred to as an E Ticket ride from then on out (why I even remember using that phrase after I rolled our explorer)
In 1982, they went to the single admission. I can't remember what it was then but in 1999 a one day pass was $39.00. Today the same one park, one day pass is $63.00. The only reason I bring this up is on Saturday we are meeting little K for her first trip there. I don't know who is more excited, NK, CamiK, CaptK or moi. I know when we get there, little K will be beside herself.
First and formost on my mind is the opening of
guess
any one who said Disneyland gets 10 points. Yes, on 7/17/55, Disneyland opened it's magic gates. The first day it was not open to the public, just special guests and the media. When it opened to the public the next day, there was a charge to enter the park and they also sold coupon books with A through C coupons. As the better rides opened the books included D & E coupons. You could also buy the coupons individually. From what I remember, there were never enough E coupons and of course every thrill ride was referred to as an E Ticket ride from then on out (why I even remember using that phrase after I rolled our explorer)
In 1982, they went to the single admission. I can't remember what it was then but in 1999 a one day pass was $39.00. Today the same one park, one day pass is $63.00. The only reason I bring this up is on Saturday we are meeting little K for her first trip there. I don't know who is more excited, NK, CamiK, CaptK or moi. I know when we get there, little K will be beside herself.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Mixed Bag
NFL season just around the corner
Hello sports fans, did you know we are just a little over a month away from NFL football? Yes, that’s right, in just about 6 weeks Sunday’s will be dominated by the NFL once again. Depending on your time zone from 10AM (Pacific Time) for about 9 hours you will have non-stop football each Sunday until mid-January. Oh, don’t forget about Monday Night Football and the occasional Thursday night game, not to mention college football Saturday. Stay tuned, this reporter will keep you informed of all of the NFL news, including which NFL star is the latest to be arrested.
In other news:
Catholic’s on parade
The Los Angeles Archdiocese has reached an out of court settlement in the amount of $660,000,000.00 (that is six hundred and sixty MILLION DINEROS) because some priests could not keep their hands (or other body parts) off (or from within) children entrusted to them. This is in addition to the $157 million in settlements by the Boston faithful and the $219 million from the Portland, Oregon pricks. Do we see any kind of a trend here? And we are just talking about the Catholics, who is keeping tabs on the rest of the other denominations?
I hope it was good
Police in Columbia S.C. are investigating how a naked couple fell 50 feet from the roof of a downtown office building to their deaths. The bodies were found on the road by a passing cabdriver around 5 a.m. Wednesday. Clothing was discovered on the roof, leading authorities to suspect the man and woman, in their early 20s, may have been having sex.
I guess we can expect another execution in China.
Defamation of character
And finally, my brother believes that I have defamed his character and he now intends to sue me. Below is the note I received from him yesterday followed by my response.
I am at mother's place reviewing your web log. Obviously, I will never get the chance to run for President after this (as Beer & Wine Party nominee). I have retained Johnny Cochran as my legal counsel in order to sue you for this defamation. You have obviously pasted my head on a picture of Barishnikov, or some other ballet dancer. Although I must admit the subject of the picture does look graceful, it is NOT ME!
Johnny will be contacting you soon.
Your brother,
My response:
You may have already left Mother’s (sounds a little uppity, I just call her Mom) but I just wanted to let you know that I am looking forward to hearing from Johnny. I haven't spoken to him since I swapped gloves with him quite a few years back and I have quite a few more pictures to show him that I'm positive he will enjoy.
If you can’t be president, maybe you can try for first laaaaaaaaady, you do resemble Jerry Lewis a little in the picture.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Lady Bird
Something is happening and it's running around inside my head, pounding on the skull trying to get out. I'm not going to let it though. Out of respect for Mrs. LBJ my page will be silenced today, one day only.
Bye bye Birdie, rest in peace. http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/biographys.hom/ladybird_bio.asp
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Reality?
Is anyone out there as fed up with the so-called "reality" shows as I am? I’m not just talking about shows like Big Brother and Survivor. I’m just as fed up with American Idol, Dancing with the Stars and all of the other "Crap TV" shows.
Let’s take a moment to define reality. According to Miriam-Webster’s on-line dictionary reality is "the quality or state of being real". Now I will admit that some TV shows like the police video shows can be classified as "real". But shows that are staged are not and I don’t care what anyone else says!
If anyone reading this watches them faithfully, I don’t mean to offend you but you must have fecal matter in your head. Who gives a shit if Cliff Clavin can dance or even Jerry Springer. They must really be hard up to keep their name in public, even more so than some of those half-assed actors doing commercials. Emmett Smith should have all of his football awards burned and the Dallas Cowboys should remove any reference to his being a player on the team and the same for Jerry Rice and the 49ers. Shame on both of you.
If you want reality, spend a little time walking around outside. Enjoy nature, do some people watching; you might see something interesting like the person NK and I saw in a local hardware store awhile back. It’s hard to describe her exactly but lets just say that she was wearing a double set of thong underwear (black lace and white lace) over her rather ratty/baggy blue jeans. Holding up the jeans was a large black silver studded belt. She belonged in San Francisco, not Iowa. Upstairs was nothing special, just a hot pink stretched out T-shirt under a tan cord jacket. With her hair dyed black the whiteness of her face was only offset by her dark blood red lips. Picture a overweight Marilyn Manson. Now that is about as real as a person can get
Let’s take a moment to define reality. According to Miriam-Webster’s on-line dictionary reality is "the quality or state of being real". Now I will admit that some TV shows like the police video shows can be classified as "real". But shows that are staged are not and I don’t care what anyone else says!
If anyone reading this watches them faithfully, I don’t mean to offend you but you must have fecal matter in your head. Who gives a shit if Cliff Clavin can dance or even Jerry Springer. They must really be hard up to keep their name in public, even more so than some of those half-assed actors doing commercials. Emmett Smith should have all of his football awards burned and the Dallas Cowboys should remove any reference to his being a player on the team and the same for Jerry Rice and the 49ers. Shame on both of you.
If you want reality, spend a little time walking around outside. Enjoy nature, do some people watching; you might see something interesting like the person NK and I saw in a local hardware store awhile back. It’s hard to describe her exactly but lets just say that she was wearing a double set of thong underwear (black lace and white lace) over her rather ratty/baggy blue jeans. Holding up the jeans was a large black silver studded belt. She belonged in San Francisco, not Iowa. Upstairs was nothing special, just a hot pink stretched out T-shirt under a tan cord jacket. With her hair dyed black the whiteness of her face was only offset by her dark blood red lips. Picture a overweight Marilyn Manson. Now that is about as real as a person can get
Friday, July 13, 2007
Hot off the press
Try this in your hot tub. The latest trend in Japan is a nice soak in Ramen noodles, complete with Soy Sauce so I guess you can soak and eat (Eeew at that thought) at the same time. I wonder if you can request different flavor packets, you know, sometimes you feel like a shrimp sometimes you don't.
I wonder how long it will take this to get to good ole California?
I know, I already posted once today but somethings I just can't resist.
I wonder how long it will take this to get to good ole California?
I know, I already posted once today but somethings I just can't resist.
MMMMMM GUMBO
Remember that smoked turkey from 7/4? Well, it’s all gone now because NK made gumbo. I have a lot of gumbo memories. While I was still slaving my life away and traveling all of the time I was able to take NK on one of my business trips. This one just happened to be to New Orleans. My entire team was there and we all decided it would be good if the wives could come and spend some time together while we were doing our business thing. This is when NK learned to make gumbo.
She learned how from a former San Diego Chargers football player named Kevin Belton. At 6’9" and at 400 lbs. he is quite a presence. His cooking class is at the New Orleans School of Cooking. Man can he cook and the class was a gas. So if you ever get to New Orleans, take the class they offer, you will have a great time and learn to cook some great stuff.
But this is about gumbo. If you look up the word gumbo you will find that gumbo is derived from a West African word for okra. NK NEVER PUTS OKRA IN HER GUMBO, IT’S A TEXTURE THING. She normally cooks a whole chicken in a crock-pot the day before the making the gumbo (this is why CK does not usually make gumbo, she can’t stand to skin the bird). The next step is to make the roux, equal parts flour and oil. This takes patience because you have to continually stir the mix until it reaches a light chocolate color. Once that is done, the trinity (celery, onion & bell pepper), the chicken, the broth (remember the crock-pot, use that broth) and the andouille (Cajun smoked sausage) are added. Now you can’t use just any andouille. Most of the stuff you see in grocery stores is crap. We get ours shipped to us from Jacobs in New Orleans (http://www.cajunsausage.com/) but if you can find a good meat market that makes sausage you might try that. Simmer the results for about 4 to 6 hours or until the desired thickness has been reached.
When I was still a member of the working class, a friend that I worked with would cook gumbo while we were on the road (we frequently stayed at Residence Inns just so we could cook – I would usually make spaghetti, he would make gumbo). I think anyone that stayed in his room after he left probably got hungry every time they went into the room, just from the leftover fragrance.
She learned how from a former San Diego Chargers football player named Kevin Belton. At 6’9" and at 400 lbs. he is quite a presence. His cooking class is at the New Orleans School of Cooking. Man can he cook and the class was a gas. So if you ever get to New Orleans, take the class they offer, you will have a great time and learn to cook some great stuff.
But this is about gumbo. If you look up the word gumbo you will find that gumbo is derived from a West African word for okra. NK NEVER PUTS OKRA IN HER GUMBO, IT’S A TEXTURE THING. She normally cooks a whole chicken in a crock-pot the day before the making the gumbo (this is why CK does not usually make gumbo, she can’t stand to skin the bird). The next step is to make the roux, equal parts flour and oil. This takes patience because you have to continually stir the mix until it reaches a light chocolate color. Once that is done, the trinity (celery, onion & bell pepper), the chicken, the broth (remember the crock-pot, use that broth) and the andouille (Cajun smoked sausage) are added. Now you can’t use just any andouille. Most of the stuff you see in grocery stores is crap. We get ours shipped to us from Jacobs in New Orleans (http://www.cajunsausage.com/) but if you can find a good meat market that makes sausage you might try that. Simmer the results for about 4 to 6 hours or until the desired thickness has been reached.
When I was still a member of the working class, a friend that I worked with would cook gumbo while we were on the road (we frequently stayed at Residence Inns just so we could cook – I would usually make spaghetti, he would make gumbo). I think anyone that stayed in his room after he left probably got hungry every time they went into the room, just from the leftover fragrance.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Short but sweet
I know a bitch of an MIL...not going to say who but when she says her GD (that be little K) is no one special, she is a bitch in my world.
China does something right
On 7/10/07 the former head of the Food and Drug agency in China was executed after being found guilty of corruption in May. He was sentenced to die on May 29th and had one appeal (denied on 6/12). It seems this former communist party member decided that he wanted a little cash, around $830,000.00 so he approved the use of an untested antibiotic that led to at least 10 deaths. This may sound a little harsh to some, but maybe we could use some of that action in the good old US of A.
I have had mixed feelings about the death penalty for a long time. I cannot say for sure that I support it, or can I say I’m against it. It really comes down to the individual case at hand for the most part. I will never believe that it is a deterrent, just that the individual put to death will never commit another heinous crime.
I had never really thought much about executing someone until 1974, when I saw the Execution of Pvt. Slovik. During World War II, 21,049 American military personnel were convicted of desertion, 49 were sentenced to death. Eddie Slovik was the only one executed. I was outraged, not just because he was executed but also because justice was not served since he was singled out only to deter others from desertion late in the war (not to mention that he did not belong in the military in the first place). His story can be found here:
http://info.detnews.com/history/story/index.cfm?id=103&category=people
Now we continue to sentence people to death, just to let them languish in the prison system for years before their final breath of gas or whatever the method (if they don’t die of natural causes first). If the community of the citizens of the USA insist on executing convicted criminals, let’s at least get the job done quickly (like China). No one should live longer than 1 year after conviction. Of course the lawyers will not make as much $$ when the appeal process is shortened but who cares about them anyway.
And while we are at it, maybe we should reconsider what crimes are punishable by death. One that comes to mind quickly is corruption and fraud ala Enron and Ken Lay. He ruined thousands of lives and was going to get off with a slap and probably a pardon until the ultimate authority administered his/her (since watching Dogma I’m not sure of the correct gender) justice.
I have had mixed feelings about the death penalty for a long time. I cannot say for sure that I support it, or can I say I’m against it. It really comes down to the individual case at hand for the most part. I will never believe that it is a deterrent, just that the individual put to death will never commit another heinous crime.
I had never really thought much about executing someone until 1974, when I saw the Execution of Pvt. Slovik. During World War II, 21,049 American military personnel were convicted of desertion, 49 were sentenced to death. Eddie Slovik was the only one executed. I was outraged, not just because he was executed but also because justice was not served since he was singled out only to deter others from desertion late in the war (not to mention that he did not belong in the military in the first place). His story can be found here:
http://info.detnews.com/history/story/index.cfm?id=103&category=people
Now we continue to sentence people to death, just to let them languish in the prison system for years before their final breath of gas or whatever the method (if they don’t die of natural causes first). If the community of the citizens of the USA insist on executing convicted criminals, let’s at least get the job done quickly (like China). No one should live longer than 1 year after conviction. Of course the lawyers will not make as much $$ when the appeal process is shortened but who cares about them anyway.
And while we are at it, maybe we should reconsider what crimes are punishable by death. One that comes to mind quickly is corruption and fraud ala Enron and Ken Lay. He ruined thousands of lives and was going to get off with a slap and probably a pardon until the ultimate authority administered his/her (since watching Dogma I’m not sure of the correct gender) justice.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Who knows?
A couple of weeks ago I ran into someone I used to work with and he told me that he had heard that a mutual acquaintance had the big C…..cancer. Today I found out that a few body parts had been removed, a kidney, pancreas, a little of his liver. This does not sound good to me, even though the doctors said they THINK they got it all so he will not have to go through Chemo. I guess that should be good news, it’s just that I don’t really trust doctors all that much. Maybe its because they don’t have much to lose if they are wrong.
I’m sure that just about everyone knows someone that has had some type of cancer. I know a few and most have managed to get through it, sometimes with some pretty aggressive treatment. NK lost a very close friend to breast cancer and she knew that she had lost the battle before the phone call came.
Chuck (the latest victim) is really a wise ass and he smoked constantly so I thought his would be the lung kind. He is about 5 years younger than I am and we frequently talked about our retirement plans. He would try to sneak up on me at work and rub the top of my head with his knuckles (just for luck he said) and he would bitch when I didn’t have any double bubble out. His retirement dream is to buy some land and build his own home. I hope he makes it, hang in there buddy.
If there is a point to this I guess it would be to live life day to day and to it’s fullest each day, fill you whole house with bubbles, swim in grandpa's pool every day....even if you don't like the old fart. You just don't know what is around the corner.
I’m sure that just about everyone knows someone that has had some type of cancer. I know a few and most have managed to get through it, sometimes with some pretty aggressive treatment. NK lost a very close friend to breast cancer and she knew that she had lost the battle before the phone call came.
Chuck (the latest victim) is really a wise ass and he smoked constantly so I thought his would be the lung kind. He is about 5 years younger than I am and we frequently talked about our retirement plans. He would try to sneak up on me at work and rub the top of my head with his knuckles (just for luck he said) and he would bitch when I didn’t have any double bubble out. His retirement dream is to buy some land and build his own home. I hope he makes it, hang in there buddy.
If there is a point to this I guess it would be to live life day to day and to it’s fullest each day, fill you whole house with bubbles, swim in grandpa's pool every day....even if you don't like the old fart. You just don't know what is around the corner.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Update
Since my pea brain is on vacation today, here is an update and a few old quotes that I like.
Good news, I don’t have to paint the ceiling in the kitchen after all. With the help of a little Clorox clean up, a bleach pen and some elbow grease, NK was able to hide the blackberry stains. I wonder if the tuna stains are still on the wallpaper?
Another thought on the space toilet, maybe they should just buy a bunch of those Astrodiapers and get a good filter. They could wring out the diapers through the filter and save the American taxpayer a bundle. Better yet, shut NASA down entirely. All of New Orleans could be rebuilt on 1 month’s budget.
I guess there are a few women who "watch" also. What goes through your mind while you are occupied with nothing? I would guess that it would be something constructive.
Quotable Quotes:
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle (since it started with "P" I'm amazed he spelled Phoenix correctly.
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" --Lee Iacocca
Good news, I don’t have to paint the ceiling in the kitchen after all. With the help of a little Clorox clean up, a bleach pen and some elbow grease, NK was able to hide the blackberry stains. I wonder if the tuna stains are still on the wallpaper?
Another thought on the space toilet, maybe they should just buy a bunch of those Astrodiapers and get a good filter. They could wring out the diapers through the filter and save the American taxpayer a bundle. Better yet, shut NASA down entirely. All of New Orleans could be rebuilt on 1 month’s budget.
I guess there are a few women who "watch" also. What goes through your mind while you are occupied with nothing? I would guess that it would be something constructive.
Quotable Quotes:
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle (since it started with "P" I'm amazed he spelled Phoenix correctly.
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" --Lee Iacocca
Monday, July 9, 2007
Space Cadets
Soon you will be able to spend thousands of $$$ to take a 3 minute weightless ride 62 miles above the surface of the earth. That does sound thrilling, however with all of the problems we face down here (hi up there, remember us, New Orleans) we sure could find some better things to do with investment money.
To get this going, a Boston-area investment group in backing a private rocket company, XCOR Aerospace out of Mojave, Ca., that is developing a spaceship that will take off and land like an airplane. It will be a single passenger jet so the people that have more money than sense will be able to get their rocks off in relative obscurity. This whole space thing ticks me off anyway, but private joy rides by the rich and famous is such a waste.
There is one other bit of space news that I heard the other day. The American taxpayers are paying $19 million for a space loo. And get this - we are paying a Russian company for it and it will be placed on the international space station. The big thing with this one is that it provides the capability to turn urine into drinking water so as long as an astronaut pees, they will never run out of liquid refreshment. There are oh so many things that come to mind here but I think you all can fill in any blanks I leave.
To get this going, a Boston-area investment group in backing a private rocket company, XCOR Aerospace out of Mojave, Ca., that is developing a spaceship that will take off and land like an airplane. It will be a single passenger jet so the people that have more money than sense will be able to get their rocks off in relative obscurity. This whole space thing ticks me off anyway, but private joy rides by the rich and famous is such a waste.
There is one other bit of space news that I heard the other day. The American taxpayers are paying $19 million for a space loo. And get this - we are paying a Russian company for it and it will be placed on the international space station. The big thing with this one is that it provides the capability to turn urine into drinking water so as long as an astronaut pees, they will never run out of liquid refreshment. There are oh so many things that come to mind here but I think you all can fill in any blanks I leave.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Hey man - watch this
I like to think of myself as a casual observer of life. One thing that I noticed over the years is that men like to watch things. Now I’m not talking about how men can stare at a nice booty, watching each cheek bounce rhythmically, I’m talking about looking at just plain things. Things like sprinklers. Just today as I was driving to the hardware store one of my neighbors of the male persuasion was standing in the shade of his front yard watching the water flow back and forth. Just standing there, like he was watching a tennis match, watching the water go one way, then slowly rise to the top and move to the bottom on the other side. Back and forth, back and forth.
Men don’t just watch things though because after they watch for a while they realize that "things" aren’t doing what they wanted them to do. Then they start to fuck with them. Move it one way, no that’s not right, move it another way and then watch again. Eventually he will have it the way he wants it and then he will go watch something else.
Men don’t just watch things though because after they watch for a while they realize that "things" aren’t doing what they wanted them to do. Then they start to fuck with them. Move it one way, no that’s not right, move it another way and then watch again. Eventually he will have it the way he wants it and then he will go watch something else.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
7/7/7
Let's see, what's new today? Well I guess it is a big deal that it is 7/7/7. The local news contained a couple of stories on the number of people getting married today because it's today. At least one couple made a reservation at a local hospital to have their baby today, like the hospital is a damned hotel.
Oh yeah, and we still haven't sold our house. I guess there are a number of you out there interested in whether or not it has sold yet and we appreciated that. I'll let you in on a little secret. When the daily title above is SOLD and the picture in the body has SOLD across the house, you will know that we will be moving soon.
We do hope that comes soon and I was just reminded of one of the reasons why.
On the first Saturday at 10:00AM between May and September, all of the local communities test the tornado sirens. They just started here and it reminded me that I don't like the fact that they have to do that and that when it is not a test we have to hide in the basement. So let's all keep our hopes up that it sells sometime soon.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Smoking (not Turkeys)
"Quitting smoking is easy, I’ve done it a thousand times". I believe Mark Twain made that statement many, many years ago and it still rings true today. I quit in March; I started quitting in 1969 so I guess the hard part is not starting again. I’m glad I quit but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to have one (the feeling is still there just about all of the time).
I started smoking at around age 15, stealing cigarettes from my dad and mom, then from grocery stores while one of my friends distracted the checker. I guess I thought it was cool although I’m pretty sure I would never have stared if my parents hadn’t smoked (that’s right mom it’s your fault). That is I wouldn’t have started until I got to boot camp. A person needed to smoke there. If you didn’t, you got to do many unpleasant extra little tasks.
They really encouraged everyone to smoke in the Service. The DI would light the smoking lamp (that meant someone could smoke) for one cigarette. Sometimes he said…"and I will smoke it" and we had to stand at attention while he had his smoke. He would really milk it, taking his own sweet time. Then we would get back to whatever it is we were doing at the time, like burying our rifles in the sand pit and then trying to find the one assigned to us. Gee, what a hoot that was.
Later, as we got beyond boot camp and started eating those wonderful C-rations left over from Korea or even better, WWII, everyone got a free 5 pack of smokes (most of them unfiltered). The few that did not take up the habit shared them with those who did. After the government got everyone smoking, they told the Surgeon General to tell everyone it was not good for them. Of course they would continue to subsidize the tobacco industry and claim no responsibility for anyone’s habit.
Why did I quit? Well for one, the price went up to almost $5.00 a pack, and that was a significant incentive. That wasn’t the main reason though, it just helped make it happen sooner rather than later. I just got tired of smoking. I had always told myself that I would quit before I reached 60, March seemed like a good time since I turned 60 in May.
Basically, I did it cold turkey, just like the other times. I did buy some nicotine tablets, took one or two and gave those up. Now I just use some Listerine breath strips to get rid of the taste leftover from the tobacco, I’m down to one or two strips a day.
I guess the best way to quit is never to start.
I started smoking at around age 15, stealing cigarettes from my dad and mom, then from grocery stores while one of my friends distracted the checker. I guess I thought it was cool although I’m pretty sure I would never have stared if my parents hadn’t smoked (that’s right mom it’s your fault). That is I wouldn’t have started until I got to boot camp. A person needed to smoke there. If you didn’t, you got to do many unpleasant extra little tasks.
They really encouraged everyone to smoke in the Service. The DI would light the smoking lamp (that meant someone could smoke) for one cigarette. Sometimes he said…"and I will smoke it" and we had to stand at attention while he had his smoke. He would really milk it, taking his own sweet time. Then we would get back to whatever it is we were doing at the time, like burying our rifles in the sand pit and then trying to find the one assigned to us. Gee, what a hoot that was.
Later, as we got beyond boot camp and started eating those wonderful C-rations left over from Korea or even better, WWII, everyone got a free 5 pack of smokes (most of them unfiltered). The few that did not take up the habit shared them with those who did. After the government got everyone smoking, they told the Surgeon General to tell everyone it was not good for them. Of course they would continue to subsidize the tobacco industry and claim no responsibility for anyone’s habit.
Why did I quit? Well for one, the price went up to almost $5.00 a pack, and that was a significant incentive. That wasn’t the main reason though, it just helped make it happen sooner rather than later. I just got tired of smoking. I had always told myself that I would quit before I reached 60, March seemed like a good time since I turned 60 in May.
Basically, I did it cold turkey, just like the other times. I did buy some nicotine tablets, took one or two and gave those up. Now I just use some Listerine breath strips to get rid of the taste leftover from the tobacco, I’m down to one or two strips a day.
I guess the best way to quit is never to start.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Smoked Turkey
I was going to devote my dribble today on smoked turkey because I finally attempted one (and CK told me to talk about it) and let me tell you it was goooooood. I tried to smoke some chicken once but it wouldn’t fit in the little papers I bought at the Quickiemart (ouch, wrong story). No, it came out real dry because I did not know about brine and brine is the key to it all. I digress though because I changed my mind after flipping back and forth between CBS and PBS last night. CBS had the Boston Pops, PBS was coming from D.C.
While the fireworks were popping in the Boston sky, someone got the bright idea to play some Billy Joe Bob, shitkicking slop. Now I don’t mind country music but with my fireworks I want John Fucking Phillips Sousa and that is what PBS provided. So if anyone from CBS and Boston reads this, knock of the Tennessee knee slapping horseshit and give us a march, just a march.
Oh, and did I mention that the turkey was good. NK said she won't eat turkey cooked any other way.
One other note, I am available, for a nominal fee and travel expense (my assistant and I only fly first class), to cook for anyone, anywhere, anytime. I’ve already been told I have to cook another turkey next year on the 4th so cross that off of your calendars (maybe we will have some Oreo cookie ice cream too). I will share any recipe for free if my fee is not acceptable.
While the fireworks were popping in the Boston sky, someone got the bright idea to play some Billy Joe Bob, shitkicking slop. Now I don’t mind country music but with my fireworks I want John Fucking Phillips Sousa and that is what PBS provided. So if anyone from CBS and Boston reads this, knock of the Tennessee knee slapping horseshit and give us a march, just a march.
Oh, and did I mention that the turkey was good. NK said she won't eat turkey cooked any other way.
One other note, I am available, for a nominal fee and travel expense (my assistant and I only fly first class), to cook for anyone, anywhere, anytime. I’ve already been told I have to cook another turkey next year on the 4th so cross that off of your calendars (maybe we will have some Oreo cookie ice cream too). I will share any recipe for free if my fee is not acceptable.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Toyota's lovin it
This just in.......good news and bad news for Al Gore today. In Orange County, California, Al Gore III was arrested on drug charges this morning. That's the bad news. The good news, at least he was driving a hybrid, the Toyota Prius. And real good news for Toyota, Al 3 was doing 100 mph at the time of his arrest so it's not just environmentally sound, it a stud car too!
July 4th
I love those "Crooks are stupid" segments a few of the radios stations play during the morning shows. You know, like the one where the guy goes into the convenience store, grabs a 6-pack and after giving the clerk his ID, pulls a gun, runs out with about 20 bucks but without his ID. Well it ain’t just crooks that are stupid.
Both South Dakota and Missouri (same with Wyoming) have stores dedicated to the sale of just about any type of fireworks a person would want to buy and every year cornheads make their way north or southeast (or west) to pick up what is illegal in their home state. And every year, they get caught coming back across the border. All of their fireworks are confiscated (I wonder if the cops put on a nice show somewhere?) and a hefty fine is levied. For days it is all over the news every year. Get a brain people, don’t go to S. D. or Missouri to get fireworks in June or July, if you really have to have them go in March or April stupid, they aren’t looking for you then. Just keep the bottle rockets away from my house.
Happy Fourth of July and stay safe.
Both South Dakota and Missouri (same with Wyoming) have stores dedicated to the sale of just about any type of fireworks a person would want to buy and every year cornheads make their way north or southeast (or west) to pick up what is illegal in their home state. And every year, they get caught coming back across the border. All of their fireworks are confiscated (I wonder if the cops put on a nice show somewhere?) and a hefty fine is levied. For days it is all over the news every year. Get a brain people, don’t go to S. D. or Missouri to get fireworks in June or July, if you really have to have them go in March or April stupid, they aren’t looking for you then. Just keep the bottle rockets away from my house.
Happy Fourth of July and stay safe.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
A couple of things that piss me off
There are a couple of things on my mind today. First off, I’m tired of commercials at the Movie Theater, especially the one I saw recently asking women if they were tired of their bothersome, painful period. Of course they are - what woman in her right mind WANTS to go through that every month. But that is not what really bothers me. What are they getting at and what age group is their audience? Do they want all of you to get surgically corrected so you don’t have to go through the "curse", the "little visitor" (women with large families call it "the blessing") each month or are they just saying they can help with the pain? If you fix it you may never have to pee on a stick (or the new technologically improved stick – thanks for that mielikki)
Whatever their message is and regardless of their audience, the theater is not the place for that. For the most part, you will not see condom commercials on TV but you will be reminded that you can get rid of that "feminine itch". I don’t want to see those products on TV or anywhere else. I guess you could say I don’t like any commercials but I guess they have to pay for the programs somehow. Just don’t insult our intelligence any more that our elected representatives already do.
Speaking of them, I guess the other thing that bothers me today is; pardon me, Scooter. Okay, it was not a full pardon, his conviction sticks and he still has to pay a fine (one that will not come out of his pocket if Dick can help at all) and it was not really a surprise, just that it happened as soon as it did. If Ken Lay had not passed on, I’m sure our pal "W" would have given him a get out of jail free card also. Of course as his 2nd term winds down there will be more of his ilk that get a pass. Almost all presidents (lower case on purpose) do it, some are just more reprehensible that others.
Whatever their message is and regardless of their audience, the theater is not the place for that. For the most part, you will not see condom commercials on TV but you will be reminded that you can get rid of that "feminine itch". I don’t want to see those products on TV or anywhere else. I guess you could say I don’t like any commercials but I guess they have to pay for the programs somehow. Just don’t insult our intelligence any more that our elected representatives already do.
Speaking of them, I guess the other thing that bothers me today is; pardon me, Scooter. Okay, it was not a full pardon, his conviction sticks and he still has to pay a fine (one that will not come out of his pocket if Dick can help at all) and it was not really a surprise, just that it happened as soon as it did. If Ken Lay had not passed on, I’m sure our pal "W" would have given him a get out of jail free card also. Of course as his 2nd term winds down there will be more of his ilk that get a pass. Almost all presidents (lower case on purpose) do it, some are just more reprehensible that others.
Monday, July 2, 2007
No Fences
Let’s talk about fences. The other day, CK mentioned that she and little K had come to visit me for Fathers day last year. While well lubricated, she observed that the yards surrounding my friend’s house were unfenced. That seems to be the norm around here. Dogs run free (and shit free) in yards, kids run through any yard they choose (hope they step in their own dog’s shit) and no one seems to care.
A fence just isn’t a big thing in the Midwest. For one, lumber is expensive. Two, the wind (AKA tornado) tends to take them down whenever they wish. We lived in Texas for a couple of years and it was the same there. A fence must be a West Coast thing. There we had lots of redwood and cedar to cut down. Everyone there values (demands) their privacy.
In the Midwest they still think of the open range (where the deer and the buffalo roam) so fences only detract from the values embraced here. All considered, I don’t care, give me a fence. It keeps the shit out, the deer out (haven’t seen any buffalo lately) and I don’t have to worry about some trespassing kid getting hurt on my property.
A fence just isn’t a big thing in the Midwest. For one, lumber is expensive. Two, the wind (AKA tornado) tends to take them down whenever they wish. We lived in Texas for a couple of years and it was the same there. A fence must be a West Coast thing. There we had lots of redwood and cedar to cut down. Everyone there values (demands) their privacy.
In the Midwest they still think of the open range (where the deer and the buffalo roam) so fences only detract from the values embraced here. All considered, I don’t care, give me a fence. It keeps the shit out, the deer out (haven’t seen any buffalo lately) and I don’t have to worry about some trespassing kid getting hurt on my property.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Movies, Movies, Movies
This is going to be one of "When I was a kid..." things. While perusing the local rag this morning I picked up the entertainment section (something I rarely do) and started skimming the pages. When I got to the "Now Playing in Theaters" portion I started thinking about the theaters we had not so long ago. There was one indoor theater where we lived, for a while, it was only a block away from our house. When we moved to the other side of town, it became a 10 minute trek to get there (we lived in a real big town).
There was also a drive-in theater. What's that you ask? It was a parking lot with speakers on a pole that you hooked to a car window. The sounds of the move came into your car and the images appeared on a huge screen through your car window (some people sat on lawn chairs in the bed of a pick-up or watched through an open hatch of their station wagon). On some days you could get in with a "carload" price, other days kids would hide in the trunk of a car to get in free. Two unique elements patronized drive-in theaters. Those that watched the movie and those that didn't.
For many families, it was the only way they could go to the movies, they would pack up the kids in their jammies and take the family car (that's right, only one car per family), some snacks and something to drink and off they would go. There were 2, maybe 3 features playing with a cartoon (good cartoons, not like alot of the crap on TV today) with a short feature, the kind you never get to see unless you go to a film festival now. Those that did not watch the movie generally parked clear in the back, did not take snacks but probably had some form of liquor and may or may not have kept most of their clothes on.
To wrap this trip to the past up, what started me thinking about it all was the number of movies available to us on any given day. Back then, 3 at the most, usually only 2 and they played in the same theater, not the numerous multi-screens of today. We had movies like North by Northwest, The Magnificent Seven and North to Alaska. What played in the 2 available locations was what you had to choose from. In today's paper I noted that we can get "Sicko", "Knocked-Up", "Live Free or Die Hard", relive Noah in "Evan Almighty", tour the Caribbean and other parts of the world with a Pirate, watch 13 Oceans or go Surfing. We can even "Ratatouille".
While the movies may not be much better now, at least the selection is.
There was also a drive-in theater. What's that you ask? It was a parking lot with speakers on a pole that you hooked to a car window. The sounds of the move came into your car and the images appeared on a huge screen through your car window (some people sat on lawn chairs in the bed of a pick-up or watched through an open hatch of their station wagon). On some days you could get in with a "carload" price, other days kids would hide in the trunk of a car to get in free. Two unique elements patronized drive-in theaters. Those that watched the movie and those that didn't.
For many families, it was the only way they could go to the movies, they would pack up the kids in their jammies and take the family car (that's right, only one car per family), some snacks and something to drink and off they would go. There were 2, maybe 3 features playing with a cartoon (good cartoons, not like alot of the crap on TV today) with a short feature, the kind you never get to see unless you go to a film festival now. Those that did not watch the movie generally parked clear in the back, did not take snacks but probably had some form of liquor and may or may not have kept most of their clothes on.
To wrap this trip to the past up, what started me thinking about it all was the number of movies available to us on any given day. Back then, 3 at the most, usually only 2 and they played in the same theater, not the numerous multi-screens of today. We had movies like North by Northwest, The Magnificent Seven and North to Alaska. What played in the 2 available locations was what you had to choose from. In today's paper I noted that we can get "Sicko", "Knocked-Up", "Live Free or Die Hard", relive Noah in "Evan Almighty", tour the Caribbean and other parts of the world with a Pirate, watch 13 Oceans or go Surfing. We can even "Ratatouille".
While the movies may not be much better now, at least the selection is.
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