Saturday, May 31, 2008

Alien finds Nebraska

There it is, the proof everyone has been waiting for. Do you see the image? That's right, it is the real ET showing itself through a window somewhere in rural Nebraska in 2003. It chose to show itself (no gender is mentioned in the press release) in Nebraska? Is it a cornhusker fan?
According to the video the little think bounces up and down, going out of site and then coming back into view through the window which is supposedly 8 feet up from the ground. I'm a little skeptical but you decide if this is like the image of Jesus on a potato chip or does this guy really have something here.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Friday Follies - Fashion Foibles

How not to wear a thong.

Two masked men entered a Diamond Shamrock mini-mart in Arvada, Co. just before 5:00 AM a few weeks back. Their masks, brightly colored womens thong underwear. The police are asking for help from anyone that may recognize the thongs in hopes that it will lead them to the robbers.

If they weren't new, were they scented?

Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Phoenix Has Landed (But there are still homeless in New Orleans)

I know, here he goes again, on and on about New Orleans. God, you'd think I was from there the way I carry on but every time I see what I consider a waste of $$ like digging up a little dirt or maybe finding a little ice on Mars, I just have to wonder about those folks that lost everything to Katrina.

One of the goals of the project (Phoenix) was to determine if there was ice on the planet yet according to a press release on June 2, 2005 "NASA has given the green light to a project to put a long-armed lander on to the icy ground of the far-northern Martian plains."

So, I have to ask, if they projected a landing on the icy ground, why in the hell did we spend $386 million dollars? They already knew the ground was icy so maybe they thought it might be cherry flavored?

Now I know we don't need the ice because we let tons of it sit while it was needed after the hurricane. And in the short term, what will we gain if we find a micro-organism or some ice crystals in the soil on the red planet? Are we going to settle there? If so, who will go? Maybe we can get the Sunni faction to consider it. That might help in the Middle East.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Let's Lick Our Balls While We Still Have Them!

The great debate is heating up. Now that we have presumptive candidates for both parties (yes Hillary, you really are not going to be the nominee, even though you inferred that something could happen in June), one candidate states that "he will not surrender" which implies that the other candidates plan is nothing less than complete surrender.

The former is holding firm that we have been successful and can "win". The latter has realistically recognized that this war, like Vietnam is not one to be won or lost.

When I think about all of this, a couple of questions come to mind. First, ignoring "Mission Accomplished", what is the new definition of "win"? Is the goal to create an American style democracy? If so, I believe winning will be alot like two drunks arguing over whether blended or single malt whiskey is better while trying to break a pinata during 50 mph wind gusts with a piece of licorice; one will never convince the other, the target will never stop moving and they don't have the tools to get the job done.

The next question I have is if we begin to bring the troops home before the Iraqi government gets it shit together, is this surrender or intelligent reality. McCain can call it whatever he wants but just as the Clinton campaign seems unwilling to recognize the math of the primary numbers, to surrender is to relinquish something, to give it up and yes it can also mean to abandon.

My take is that we cannot relinquish or give up something we do not own and how can we state that we are abandoning Iraq. Every rational being knows that the withdrawal of the fighting force will not be like it was when the last helicopter left the roof of our embassy in Vietnam in 1975. Our troops will leave harms way in Iraq only to move more significant numbers into harms way in Afghanistan. Our $$ will continue to support the reconstruction and advisers will remain to assist the government in it's feeble attempt to unite two historic opponents and placate another.

Between 1973, when peace talks began to signal a real end, and 1975 506 American Soldiers perished in Vietnam. If we wait, as McCain suggests, until 2013, we will witness the waste of life of more of our young men and women because someones testicles got in the way, not because we won.

Monday, May 26, 2008

After the Storm

We had our typical Memorial Day weekend storms, the kind that drives all of the campers indoors to safe shelter and keeps the weather people busy telling us that we should expect to see very strong winds and torrential downpour.

After living here for 10 years we finally found a decent weather radio that we can control when a warning is sounded. I had to turn it off about 10 times yesterday so it was quite active around here. We were again fortunate to have all of the tornadic actvity hit elsewhere and I did get some good after the storm pics.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Friday Follies - Drive and Shoot

Forget about free gas when you buy a car, through May 31st a Missouri car dealer is offering a free handgun for every new or used car purchased.

Mad Max Motors will sell just about any make of American made vehicle. Owner Mark Muller stated that we can't actually give them a gun, " what we do is give them a coupon for a local gun dealer here in town so they can pick out any gun they want. Muller recommends his customers select a Kel-Tec .380 pistol. "It's a nice little handgun that fits in your pocket," he said.

According Muller, sales have been brisk, selling over 30 cars and trucks in the previous 3 days and all but one guy from Canada and an "old guy" have opted for the free handgun.

If you link to the site above you will discover that what we have here is a right wing gun totting religious zealot that apparently believes that the good lord wants us all to carry concealed weapons everywhere we go. Muller claims his promotion was inspired by Barak Obama's recent statement about some people clinging to their guns and religion.

The more I consider the asinine concept the more saddened I get. I just don't know how to respond to something as ludicrous a philosophy as this man seems to have. The sad thing is, this is not a promotion just to make a buck, this jackass probably subscribes to the Bunker theory; if everyone on the plane had a gun, no plane would ever by hijacked.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Friday, May 16, 2008

Where do the homeless people pee?

I had to have some lab work done today. One of the rules I had to abide by was nothing to eat after 8:00PM and nothing to drink after Midnight. OK, so nothing to eat was no problem and I am normally not up to drink much of anything after midnight anyway.

I thought I was just going to give blood to the vampiress until she finished. Then she handed me the cup. I dread the cup. Whenever I have lab work, I get up, take a shower, then do my morning ritual. I rinse my mouth with water after I brush, then a little mouthwash.

I try not to swallow since if so much as a drop passes my tonsils, I will have violated my promise of nothing to drink after midnight and I would have to wait until the next day to give the vampiress her chance to thump my arm to look for just the right vein. I am one of the lucky ones that have very prominent veins so they usually don't have any trouble sticking me.

The problem I seem to have is with the damned cup. If I can't drink anything after midnight (really this means 10PM or 10:30PM because I'm not going to set the alarm for 11:55 just to have a drink) and I have to relieve myself when I awake (not realizing I should save it for the cup) just how much do they think they are going to get?

So as I was leaving the room of blood, the vampiress removed the stress when she said you don't have to fill it.

Oh and to answer the question where do homeless people pee...........any damn place they want!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Driving me crazy

I saw Superman yesterday. At least his T-shirt indicated that is who it was though I'm not real sure since it was white and not blue like the real Superman would wear. And he was walking not flying so I suspect he was just some kid that thought maybe he could be like my childhood hero.

Before I saw Superman I saw someone driving down the road that, if I was in law enforcement, I would pull over at every opportunity. He had a Bush/Cheney bumper sticker attached to the rear window of his pick-m-up. That is the first reason, I'd stop him just for being ignorant.

The 2nd reason would be the decal of Herbie the Husker so I'd pull him over because I can't stand Nebraska football (although I must admit that I think they have a pretty good coach in Pelini).

The 3rd thing would be the decal of the BIG bottle of Budweiser plastered right in the middle of the glass. I would tell him that it was because the decal was impeding his vision from his rear view mirror but he probably wouldn't understand the word "impeding". The moral here is enjoy your beer but don't advertise it.

Oh, and he was talking on a cell phone and I'd just love to ticket someone for that.

Tomorrow - a neighborhood story and thanks to all for the birthday wishes, the pizza was great, the beer cold and I won my golf match. It just doesn't get any better than that.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Sunday Scene - Signs of Spring

Today's pictures are from our own backyard, the first Tulips of spring.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Silly Saturday - Is Grandpa Naked in the Garden Again

Today is the first Saturday of May, a few days after May Day when all the laborers parade and a few days before Cinco de Mayo, the celebration of Mexican independence. But I'll bet you didn't know that the first Saturday in May is also the time to get naked and pull some weeds or plant something.

That's right, all over the world today is the day to do some naked is the 4th annual World Naked Gardening Day (WNGD if you want an acronym to throw out).

All you have to do to participate is get naked and go outside (or do some indoor gardening if you are shy).

So what should you do? According to the WNGD Web site, "...on May 3, 2008 find an opportunity to get naked and do some gardening. Do so alone, with friends, with family, with your gardening club, or with any other group collected for that purpose. Do it inside your house, in your back yard, on a hiking trail, at a city park, or on the streets. Stay private or go public. Make it a quiet time or make it a public splash. Just get naked and make your part of the botanical world a healthier and more attractive place.

Secondly, tell someone about your experience. No one owns this event, so it does not really matter whom you tell, but tell someone . Tell your friends about your day of naked gardening; write down what you thought of it and email it to your local newspaper."

Just make sure you steer clear of any stinging insects and thorny plants, you wouldn't want to experience any unwanted or unnatural swelling while enjoying the sunlight.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Friday Follies - It's the weather stupid!

If it is true, as the very Rev. John Hagee has stated, that the devastation wrought by hurricane Katrina was due to the plan by the city of New Orleans to hold some type of gay festival then you have to ask, what in the hell is Missouri planning, or Arkansas, or even Texas. It must be something big to piss God off enough to send all those tornadoes swirling around their neighborhoods. Maybe not as big as what New Orleans had planned but whatever it is it can't be insignificant.

In Missouri, maybe it has something to do with the Victorian Dance at the Anderson house on May 3rd in Lexington. You know how things got out of hand in the Victorian era. A good tornado might make them think twice about such a raucous event as this. Or maybe it is because of the Senior Citizens Trout Fishing tournament in Salem on May 8th. You never know what those crazy over 60 seniors will do once they dip their line in the water.

What about Arkansas, is it an attempt to send a message to Huckabee that he should not consider any offer of a Vice-Presidency with McCain? Or is it God telling Hillary to cut the shit and stop fucking things up, telling her to drop out or New York is next.

And Texas, what can you say, just about anything can happen there. After all "W" was Governor there and will "retire" to his little spread to cut brush and chop wood just like Ronnie did when he was through screwing things up. I wonder what Hagee thinks his home state has done to deserve the wrath of the Weatherman?

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Thought for a Thursday

Something to think about: