Sunday, August 31, 2008

You Should Vote for the McCain/Palin Ticket if:

This is for all those undecided voters out there like Aaron (see his comment posted there). I'm not picking on him, just wanted to provide a little food for thought.


You should vote for McCain if you believe that we can survive another 4 years of the Bush economic policy.


You should vote for McCain if you believe that Roe vs. Wade should be overturned and that any possibility of ending a pregnancy should be stopped, even in the case of rape, incest or the threat to the life of the mother.


You should vote for McCain if you think that a war on two fronts is not enough and will be willing to support an attack against Iran while at the same time failing to complete our mission in Iraq or to find those responsible for all of this insanity in the first place (Osama Bin Laden and his band).


You should vote for McCain if you think that big oil's profits have not been excessive and that they deserve further tax breaks.


You should vote for McCain if you want to see jobs currently held by American workers continue to migrate to countries outside of the United States.


You should vote for McCain if you think that offshore drilling will really reduce the price of a gallon of gas (or if you believe that opening Anwar to production is going to help reduce or dependence on fossil fuels).

You should vote for McCain if you believe that McCain chose Palin as his running mate because she is really the right person for the job and not a token female in an attempt to lure former Clinton supporters (which any intelligent woman should consider an insult).

You should vote for McCain if you believe the right to bear arms means that every individual in America has the right to own as many assault weapons as they desire.

And finally, you should vote for McCain if you want to follow him to the gates of hell because that is where he will take us.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Friday, August 29, 2008

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Freedom

I have a very strong belief that individuals ALWAYS have the right to express their opinion unless their actions may cause harm to others, that is until today.

While watching coverage on MSNBC of the Democratic Convention this afternoon and evening there persisted a constant chatter in the background. This noise came from a person that belongs to a group that apparently is convinced that the tragedy of September 11, 2001 was the work of of our government.

There were no planes to take out the twin towers, only explosives surreptitiously planted by internal forces....in spite of the film footage we all watched over and over. I guess they believe that all of that was neatly edited to hide the conspiracy perpetrated by our government.

Now I am no Bush fan but there is no way I can believe that even Cheney would come up with something as heinous as that.

The guy using the megaphone repeated over and over and over that "9/11 was an inside job" and was called a wacko by Chris Matthews. I believe that it goes much beyond that and that the freedom of speech should not apply when people like this attempt to spread their obvious message of complete disregard for the victims of that horrific event.

But my biggest regret is that I felt obligated to add to the attention that this idiot received.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Things to do in Denver when your'e dead

And let's face it folks, the campaign of HRC is dead. So what are the first words out of the mouth of the first speaker televised? Why it is Nancy Pelosi kissing HRC's ass, thanking her for her hard work as a candidate.

If any of you watched any of MSNBC's coverage yesterday afternoon you may have seen Chris Matthews talking to 3 women from a group called PUMA (stands for party unity my ass) that are die hard Clinton supporters (actually Matthews eventually called them wackos). In spite of all of the evidence to the contrary, these 3 idiots insist that Barack Obama is a "registered" Muslim.

At first they talked about a Congressional report that confirmed this, then waffled and said that there was a former Congressional investigator that produced the evidence.

When Matthews asked for more specifics the apparent leader of the 3 said I'm not going to tell you. Where in the hell have you people been for the last 7 years? Are you looking forward to more of the same? You need to clean out your little PUMA sandbox because Tommy Smothers is not going to do it for you.

Here is a suggestion for you and your PUMA group. Buy yourselves the Hell Freezes Over CD by the Eagles and play the first cut over and over until you get it or to be more to the point "Get (the fuck) Over It"

Monday, August 25, 2008

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Friday, August 22, 2008

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Garden Party

One thing that drives me crazy is not being able to get a song out of my head, especially when I am trying to concentrate on something else. For that reason, now that I have XM radio in my car, I do not listen to any music on the way to the golf course because invariably the last song I hear will come roaring back at the most inopportune time and once it is stuck in whichever section of the brain controls that, all chances at a focused golf swing are gone.


So what do I listen to? XM channel 150, uncensored XM comedy, unless some comedian like Rodney Carrington comes on (he will frequently sing some sort of lewd song) in which case I will switch over to Air America. But I didn't say all that just to let you know about what I listen to in the car, there is a story behind it.

One recent Sunday morning as I was headed out to play in a member breakfast tournament I drove past an elderly lady in one of the neighborhoods nearby. She was very neatly dressed and obviously on her way to church services.

Since it was such a nice morning I had the car windows down to enjoy the morning air as I listened to some comedian discuss the size of his member and where he liked to put it (anywhere). It is possible that I had the volume up a little too high and this conversation obviously had an impact on the woman walking to her car since she seemed to stare in my direction for sometime as I passed by.

The moral of the story comes from the song Garden Party by Rick Nelson: "But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well. You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself."

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Monday, August 18, 2008

Grandparents

A 6 YEAR OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HER GRANDMA LIVED.

"OH" SHE SAID, "SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT AND WHEN WE WANT HER WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN WE'RE DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE AIRPORT."

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Saturday, August 16, 2008

A Roll of the Dice (or don't leave home without them)

Subtitle: Baby needs a new pair of shoes!

If you have ever been to New Orleans you have probably run into a kid who will bet you he can tell you "where you got dem shoes". If you happened to take the bet, I'm pretty sure you lost it unless someone filled you in before your trip. If you have not been there and plan to go someday, don't fall for the trap (answer at the end of this post).

But speaking of shoes, what you see below is a picture of all of the shoes owned by the Kaos family, Midwest (about 20 pair).


















The majority of the shoes in this picture are 10 or more years old. The total cost of this pile of shoes? We estimate it at approximately at one half the cost of one pair of shoes that look like the one below from a manufacturer's ad.









Would you spend $260.00 per shoe? Do you own 10 houses or have access to a corporate jet (courtesy of your spouse) for all of your travels? If you do, you would probably want to to vote for the Republican running for President this year.


Here is a picture of the proud wearer of these shoes (can you guess where he got the shoes?) Oh by the way there is someone else we know that he seems to like to hang with is in the picture).

























But, if you would not or don't, I would guess that he might not be the person you would think of as someone who might understand what it is like to make your way through this thing called life. Think about it, it's not just about experience in Washington (by the way, that is not necessarily a good thing is it?).

Answer to question # 1....when you get a bet that someone can tell you where you got dem shoes while in New Orleans (or anywhere else), take the bet and tell them that you got dem on your feet.

Answer to question # 2, well, mommy didn't buy them, John McCain's shoes are none other than Salvatore Ferragamo Pregiato shoes that retail for $520 at Neiman Marcus.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Stupid Zone

There is one area that is specifically reserved for the male of the species. It is called the stupid zone, and we frequently place ourselves into it.

It can apply to everything we do. We get there in various ways: a trip to a strip club will put one in the "zone", just a few drinks and a few well placed bills can lead to a lap dance and a lap dance just enhances the magnitude of stupid.

I first noticed it on the golf course after a good drive on a par 5, with the wind at my back I actually begin to believe I can hit my next shot 275 yards to the pin with a 3 wood. Of course, I am smack dab in the middle of the stupid zone and will generally either top the ball, causing it to roll around 15 to 20 yards or hit it straight into the tallest grass on the course. In that case I would wind up with a lost ball, and a one stroke penalty....out in 1, back in 2, hitting 3. Since I am still in the stupid zone I might even try the same shot again, out in 3, back in 4 and hitting 5...still 275 yards from the pin.

But what really got me thinking about the stupid zone tonight was that today I noticed that the speedometer on my car went up to 160 mph. When a man sees that, what is his first thought? Well it has to be I wonder if I can really get this thing to go 160? Tempting me, calling me, see if it will do it.

Since I was on a city street, my basic instinct was to resist, fight the feeling. So I did, resist the temptation that is, at least for now. But now that the vision is there, every time I look at the dashboard I will see the number....160 and I'll be back in the zone. I just hope it doesn't happen on some dark deserted straight away where I might just think I can hit that shot.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Olympic Spirit - Report from the Olympic News Network

In keeping with, maybe even enhancing the spirit of the Summer Olympics, two nations have surprisingly added a new event.

Russia and the Republic of Georgia (a former Soviet Republic) have not been friendly for some time. That they have chosen to begin battle games on the opening day of the Summer Olympics can't be a coincidence can it?

Georgia has taken the initial lead in the games by shooting down two Russian jets but it appears that Russia is making it's move with a strong line of tanks known to be headed toward the border.

While the rules have not yet been clearly defined it is certain that the winner will be the country with the least number of dead. Sadly, no gold medals and no Olympic wreaths will be presented, only wooden boxes with the remains of the innocent will be left to remind us of this new Olympic sport.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Monday, August 4, 2008

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Friday, August 1, 2008

Faux Pas

Yesterday I said something that could have got me in serious trouble. NK is in Portland and when she got up she called me and asked me what I was doing.

Not thinking at all I told her t he truth. "I'm waiting for some ladies to leave". Now that has the possibility of a serious misunderstanding. I was waiting and women were involved but it's not what you might think.

There were four of them and I had already gone through four others. I found out later that there were seven more in front of me that I would have to contend with.

But as soon as I realized what I had just said I quickly amended my statement and finished my story. You see I was on the 6th hole at my golf club and about five groups of women had started ahead of me and I was waiting for one of the groups to leave the green when NK called, thus the statement about waiting for the ladies to leave.

Needless to say, it was quite quiet on the other end of the phone until I explained where I was.