Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Top 10 Dumbest Things I've Done

Every one at one time or another has done something stupid. Some people commit a crime and get caught because they did a stupid thing. One, a man on trial for flashing did not help himself when he stripped down in the courtroom. Another walked into court with a small amount of cocaine, knowing he would be incarcerated on a bail violation. While I have not done anything that would get me included in a crooks are stupid list, I have done some pretty dumb things. Here are my top 10 stupid things (up to this point):

1. With a radio antenna sticking about 30 feet up, I stood up during a firefight in an attempt to draw fire so we could tell where the enemy was located.

2. Skateboading down Black Mountain in Morro Bay on a day four of us ditched school to go surfing and boarding. Naturally I lost control on my way down but luckily only suffered minor road burns.

3. Stepping off the running board on a moving car. Obviously I did not learn enough about road burns the first time.

4. After consuming a fair amount of vodka, I walked in between two police officers. When they asked me what I had been drinking I said nothing. After they said they could smell it I proudly told them that was impossible because you can't smell vodka (well maybe this one is close to placing me in the dumb crook category)!

5. While attempting to test drive a motorcycle I had just purchased I lost control and sliced my right arm open on a car's rear view mirror.

6. Going to work to complete some paperwork (someone else could have done this) while I was suffering from severe chest pain that I had convinced myself was due to a heart problem. I wound up in the hospital for 3 days and NK got a free trip (first class both ways) to Kansas City.

7. Letting price be a determining factor (hey he was $20.00 cheaper) when deciding on a doctor to do my vasectomy (oh the pain). I ruled out the recommended doctor because of his name....Duklutz.

8. Dropping a lit cigarette into my belly button (I was shirtless) from my lip while admiring a nice looking young woman.

9. Stealing a slingshot from a local toy store and then shooting my brother with it while he was sleeping. He made so much noise that my parents came in and made me take it back to the store and confess to my crime.

10. Smoking my first cigarette.


CamiKaos said...

I love you daddy.

mielikki said...

your blog is so pretty now. . .

and anyone with the name Duklutz would do the BEST procedures ever, because they have that name to live down!

DaddyKaos said...

M - thanks, CK did the header from a picture I took, credit goes to her.

Bubblewench said...

OOH! love the new look!

And what a list... I'm trying to figure out how while on a motorcycle you cut your arm on a car rear view mirror.....

DaddyKaos said...

BW - it was relatively easy and embarrassing, lose control, sideswipe = sliced arm.