Thursday, April 17, 2008

It's a Learnin Thang

It's Thursday and I had no idea what I wanted to do today (well, I do have something started but not yet finished) but then I went to do some back reading and came across a non-tag, tag from Jo B. Basically, she tagged anyone that read her post on Saturday, so since I read it I feel obligated to respond to the following:



List 5 classes that SHOULD have been taught in school.

First I will preface my response by stipulating that I will cover college classes because anything anyone tried to teach me in high school was a waste of time, I knew it all already. After a 5 year break from school, by the time I got to college I had matured enough to realize that I knew nothing at all. So, what classes should have been available?



1. What to do when you hear two gunshots and seconds later you see a woman run naked from the house across the street screaming at the top of her lungs (while in the process of moving into a rental).



a). Try to remember where you put your camera?
b). Put the couch back in the bed of the truck and drive away?
c). Go to the 7-11 and ask the clerk to phone the police and what do you do if he refuses?



2. How to respond to a scholarship student when they complain that the party they went to kept them from getting their paper done?



a). Laugh?
b). Move to another part of the room (and laugh)?
c). Tell them how sorry you are that the party lasted so long and offer to give them your paper?



3. Why you should not buy a motorcycle 101.

In this class, you would see a video of someone (unnamed) that slices the inside of their forearm on the rear view mirror of a parked car as he over accelerates. The video includes the frantic trip to the emergency room in your fathers pick-up.



4. How not to buy a house.


This class would cover the object lesson of taking one week to purchase a house after a job transfer. Lessons include don't buy the house if the houses on either side are up on cement blocks and always ask if the previous owners sons kept pigs as a 4-H project at the rear of the property.




5. What to do when your Irish Setter has a litter of 21 puppies or how to clean up the nursery.





































6 comments:

mielikki said...

wow look at all those puppies!
Wondering which college would offer those classes...

CamiKaos said...

oh great... now I want a dog again.. but really I think that this one is the most important:

4. How not to buy a house.


This class would cover the object lesson of taking one week to purchase a house after a job transfer. Lessons include don't buy the house if the houses on either side are up on cement blocks and always ask if the previous owners sons kept pigs as a 4-H project at the rear of the property.

Pigs left in the rear of the property from a 4-H project can become hostile and mean causing trauma to unnamed individuals giving them a pig fear complex that lasts the rest of their life.

DaddyKaos said...

Perhaps that explains our desire to eat as much bacon as possible.

Jo Beaufoix said...

You see, I had all these witty comments to say, and now all I can right is, awwwwww puppieeeeeeees.
So cute. And 21? Ouch.

n said...

Our second litter (different mommies) was tweleve. We don't do litters anymore, we had enough in two to last a life time. Nnankaos

sybil law said...

21?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dayamn!