Monday, December 10, 2007

Scotland Lets Me Down

According to a recent survey, the average Santa weighs around 226 lbs. with some breaking the 300-lb. mark. OK and the point is what? Why was there a survey on how much the jolly fat man weighs? Who will they go after next, the Jolly Green Giant, after all, he says "ho-ho-ho". Maybe Peter Griffin from the Family Guy.

How about Frosty, maybe take a hair dryer to him since he looks like he is carrying a little extra (since he smokes a pipe I’m sure he will be a target sooner or later).



The thing is, Santa is viewed as a role model and in this bulimic crazed society he has been declared to be an overweight slob that must slim down. The Surgeon General who believes the man in the red suit is a bad role model acknowledged the survey, done in Scotland. I guess he believes all of the little kiddies want to be fat just like Santa. Give me a fuckin break! So SG whatever your name is, take a hike. You have been nominated for an FI Award by going just a little to far with this fat thing.


So, only skim milk and no cookies for the fat guy this year. But if you must, make them sugar free and no trans fats. We can only hope he is not allergic to the artificial sweetener. Oh and Santa, if you read this, maybe you better think about Weight Watchers before they ban you altogether.


Sports
Another nominee, NFL Officials for their penchant to call unsportsman like conduct penalties after a young man celebrates a touchdown. Let them have a little fun OK, you don’t need to flag every kid that shows a little emotion.



One more nod today for Tiger Woods. Why did you miss your daughter’s baptism in favor of a fundraising event for one of your charities. Did you even consider rescheduling one or the other? Shame on you.


7 comments:

CamiKaos said...

I think the saying Santa is too fat thing started last year. I remember hearing about it. As someone who is concerned that children are become obese younger and younger you would think I would be in support of a slimmer santa.... but what the hell.

He's SANTA for god's sake.

People need to get over it and let Santa be.

mielikki said...

I agree. Santa is perfect the way he is, 'bowl full of jelly' and all. . .
double shame on Tiger.

sybil law said...

Santa is FAT because everyone feeds him cookies, but I distinctly remember that he slims down the rest of the year in "Santa Claus is Coming to Town". He has to fatten up for the energy and warmth. "Eat, Poppa, eeeat". Duh! Freakin' surgeon general!
NFL officials - I don't get it, either. Remember the Ickey Shuffle? Haha On second thought, maybe it's not so bad...
Tiger - missing that is shameful. Hope that baby gets a golden Bible out of it.

DaddyKaos said...

Thanks Syb, glad you agree. Oh and BTW, we have submitted the official paperwork for your adoption with the state of Iowa. All they need now is a picture of you with a glass of wine on your forehead.

Bubblewench said...

Yeah SYB! You're right.

They should be allowed to be happy they played well.

And Tiger... shame shame shame...

Bubblewench said...

OH! And Heeeeeyyyyy if Syb's getting adopted can I at least get honorable family mention??? :(

n said...

BW you were adpoted long ago. Okay people for those of you who don't know BW is as real of a daughter as Syb is, we also claim Mei,although she is family by birth, we choose her too! Anyone else? Oh yeah, Jeff, son not daughter. NanaKaos