Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Small Town Snooze

On Monday, the person that delivers the local fish wrapper left us a little note telling us that we should be reading the thing and for the next few weeks we would have our opportunity free of charge. How kind. Since we subscribed to the rag shortly after moving here just to see what it was like and cancelled it after around a month I will tell them thanks but no thanks.

But just for kicks, I have looked through it each day and have thought of Lettermen's small town news segment a couple of times. Here is what I have learned or been reminded of since Monday:

1. Hooters is coming to town and evidently this is a big deal. It reminded me of the time when one of my work partners told me how excited his daughter was that their little burg was going to finally get a Taco Bell. Here though one prominent member of the community thinks "that to bring in a famous chain like Hooters would attract other national businesses to the area". Sure it will just as soon as I get the 3rd ball in my sac.

2. That snow is someones pet peeve.

3. From Friday at 11:49 PM through Sunday, 4:00PM 7 people were arrested for public intoxication.

4. Tomorrow they will serve hamburgers and fries at the American Legion (yesterday it was a Philly cheese steak sandwich and fries).

5. There are 34 route openings to help circulate this nonsense (someone could make up to $113.00 per month on the highest volume route).

6. By inserting two leaves, you can change a round table to an oval.

7. The Avenue G viaduct is 1,290 feet long.

8. The city processes about 7 million gallons of shit every day (that is just at the sewage treatment plant). The sludge byproduct is recycled to be used as fertilizer to help food grow. End result, we eat our own shit.


sybil law said...

Eat shit.
Haha gives that a whole new perspective!
Your town sounds awesome!
How many stoplights are there, though?!

mielikki said...

Yeah, your town paper sounds kind of like my town paper. Except I am not sure if Podunk eats shit or not. I'll have to check into that one.

Bubblewench said...

Wow, great paper.