Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one."
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Candidates
Until Richard Milhous Nixon ran for President in 1972, I was not really into politics and presidential elections. Tricky Dick changed all of that. Well, I guess I can't really blame it all on him since I had just started College and was exposed to the leftist thinking of the time. I’ll admit it, I was an avid supporter of George McGovern, and both NK and I worked his campaign from the outset, even before Shriver became the VP candidate. While have voted in every presidential election since, I have not worked to support a candidate since 1972 and I probably won’t again in my lifetime. But I do have strong opinions on the path our nation should take and who should be leading us so I’m going to get political for awhile.
Sometimes I’m will take a position on a particular candidate, sometimes I’ll just post what a candidate says that they stand for at let you think about it. I’m going to go through every declared candidate for President, Republican and Democrat. Much of the information will come from the candidate’s WEB site. Some of it may be the opinion of others (I will credit them when appropriate).
The first victim will be Mitt Romney or just plain old Mitt (Lettermen likes to stretch it out like Mittttttt), PETA’s choice for man of the year. For those of you that may not be aware, the Romney family pet, an Irish Setter, was placed in a carrier and strapped to the top of the car. By the time the family got to their destination (a 12-hour drive from Boston to Ontario), there was dog shit everywhere. While PETA does not have a position on Romney's candidacy per se, the President of PETA, Ingrid Newkirk called the incident "a lesson in cruelty that was ... wrong for [his children] to witness...Thinking of the wind, the weather, the speed, the vulnerability, the isolation on the roof, it is common sense that any dog who's under extreme stress might show that stress by losing control of his bowels: that alone should have been sufficient indication that the dog was, basically, being tortured." Romney, of course, has expressed support for the use of "enhanced interrogation" techniques when it comes to terrorists; his campaign refused to comment about the treatment of his dog (credit Time Magazine…"Romney’s Cruel Canine Vacation", 6/27/07).
What will he do if elected?
Crime:
Well according to the Romney agenda as noted on his WEB site, as President, Governor Romney will propose new, tougher federal penalties for first-time offenders who use the Internet to sexually assault children, including stiff mandatory jail time to be followed by lifetime tracking by Global Positioning Satellite (GPS). This will represent a "One-Strike, You're Ours" law for child predators.
Taxes:
"It's absolutely critical that we don't have that massive tax hike and instead we make the Bush tax cuts permanent." "We should strive to keep marginal tax rates on America's families and businesses no higher than those imposed by our major global competitors. We should end tax penalties against saving and investment, and promote fairness and simplicity by ending special interest loopholes and lowering tax rates for all Americans."
Protecting children and lowering taxes, the first two of three agenda items for Romney. Touch the soul and the pocketbook hot buttons. His final agenda item; don’t talk to 3rd world dictators – here he criticizes Obama’s response to a question during one of the debates. "During a nationally televised debate, Obama responded to a hypothetical question: 'Would you be willing to meet separately, without precondition, during the first year of your administration, in Washington or anywhere else, with the leaders of Iran, Syria, Venezuela, Cuba and North Korea, in order to bridge the gap that divides our countries?' The senator from Illinois responded: 'I would, and the reason is this: the notion that somehow not talking to countries is somehow punishing them, which has been the guiding diplomatic principle of this administration, is ridiculous.' "
So then, Mitt Romney, if elected president will go after Internet predators, retain (and possibly expand) the Bush tax policy, and choose to ignore leaders of unfriendly nations. "Instead of embracing these brutal dictators, we need to work with (covertly) freedom-loving people in their countries" (my emphasis). If you would like to know more, go to:
http://www.mittromney.com/Issue-Watch/Romney_Agenda
Sometimes I’m will take a position on a particular candidate, sometimes I’ll just post what a candidate says that they stand for at let you think about it. I’m going to go through every declared candidate for President, Republican and Democrat. Much of the information will come from the candidate’s WEB site. Some of it may be the opinion of others (I will credit them when appropriate).
The first victim will be Mitt Romney or just plain old Mitt (Lettermen likes to stretch it out like Mittttttt), PETA’s choice for man of the year. For those of you that may not be aware, the Romney family pet, an Irish Setter, was placed in a carrier and strapped to the top of the car. By the time the family got to their destination (a 12-hour drive from Boston to Ontario), there was dog shit everywhere. While PETA does not have a position on Romney's candidacy per se, the President of PETA, Ingrid Newkirk called the incident "a lesson in cruelty that was ... wrong for [his children] to witness...Thinking of the wind, the weather, the speed, the vulnerability, the isolation on the roof, it is common sense that any dog who's under extreme stress might show that stress by losing control of his bowels: that alone should have been sufficient indication that the dog was, basically, being tortured." Romney, of course, has expressed support for the use of "enhanced interrogation" techniques when it comes to terrorists; his campaign refused to comment about the treatment of his dog (credit Time Magazine…"Romney’s Cruel Canine Vacation", 6/27/07).
What will he do if elected?
Crime:
Well according to the Romney agenda as noted on his WEB site, as President, Governor Romney will propose new, tougher federal penalties for first-time offenders who use the Internet to sexually assault children, including stiff mandatory jail time to be followed by lifetime tracking by Global Positioning Satellite (GPS). This will represent a "One-Strike, You're Ours" law for child predators.
Taxes:
"It's absolutely critical that we don't have that massive tax hike and instead we make the Bush tax cuts permanent." "We should strive to keep marginal tax rates on America's families and businesses no higher than those imposed by our major global competitors. We should end tax penalties against saving and investment, and promote fairness and simplicity by ending special interest loopholes and lowering tax rates for all Americans."
Protecting children and lowering taxes, the first two of three agenda items for Romney. Touch the soul and the pocketbook hot buttons. His final agenda item; don’t talk to 3rd world dictators – here he criticizes Obama’s response to a question during one of the debates. "During a nationally televised debate, Obama responded to a hypothetical question: 'Would you be willing to meet separately, without precondition, during the first year of your administration, in Washington or anywhere else, with the leaders of Iran, Syria, Venezuela, Cuba and North Korea, in order to bridge the gap that divides our countries?' The senator from Illinois responded: 'I would, and the reason is this: the notion that somehow not talking to countries is somehow punishing them, which has been the guiding diplomatic principle of this administration, is ridiculous.' "
So then, Mitt Romney, if elected president will go after Internet predators, retain (and possibly expand) the Bush tax policy, and choose to ignore leaders of unfriendly nations. "Instead of embracing these brutal dictators, we need to work with (covertly) freedom-loving people in their countries" (my emphasis). If you would like to know more, go to:
http://www.mittromney.com/Issue-Watch/Romney_Agenda
Monday, July 30, 2007
Silence
At the risk of being repetitive, it's great to be home, your own bed, your own shower and coffee from your own pot. Well 2 out of 3 ain't bad (to quote another song). When we woke up this morning there was silence, not a sound. NK got up and said "that's weird". It seems the ceiling fan was still. Of course she flipped the switch a few times to make sure it was not going to come back on. It was then she determined that we had no power. I checked the circuit breaker just to make sure before I called the power companies automated power outage reporting system. You just can't talk to a person at all these days!
After punching all of the buttons on my touch tone phone I was told that CB had city wide outages with anticipated restoration around 9AM. We got our power back about 5 minutes later, just after I lit the candle in the bathroom (I heard this whrrrrrrrrr and then the refrigerator kicked in so I knew we were in business).
I wonder how many people were late for work because they couldn't get their garage door open (did not think to pull the rope to disconnect the latch)?
After punching all of the buttons on my touch tone phone I was told that CB had city wide outages with anticipated restoration around 9AM. We got our power back about 5 minutes later, just after I lit the candle in the bathroom (I heard this whrrrrrrrrr and then the refrigerator kicked in so I knew we were in business).
I wonder how many people were late for work because they couldn't get their garage door open (did not think to pull the rope to disconnect the latch)?
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Homeward Bound
Like John Denver once sang, "Hey it's great to be back home again". We boarded our plane out of LAX at 5:30 Pacific time this morning. At about 8:45AM the wheels finally left the ground. It seems there was a malfunctioning warning alarm with no corresponding telltale sign of anything wrong. So after driving the plane around the airport (I think they were ordered to check to see what kind of gas mileage they could get) while the crew reset a few circuit breakers we finally arrived back at the gate.
But before I finish the story, I must go back in time to our original departure date for our trip to La La land.
While I sat wondering how loud the baby behind me was going to be (actually not bad) and mostly ignoring the safety Nazi's presentation for people too stupid to figure out how to slide the silver slot into the buckle, the kid in the window seat pondered (out loud) how cool it would be to crash land in the water. My thought was that it would not really be cool at all and the longer I sat on the plane I was wishing that I had a fatter ass or the cushion had more padding.
When we finally got to Denver, it seems everyone at the airport there was surprised that a plane had landed. After our taxi ride to the gate, quite rudely, no one was waiting for us.....no one at the Jetway. This was the 2nd time in two tries through Denver that the entire airport staff was astounded that a plane would have to audacity to show up unannounced. The first time we had snow removal equipment blocking the path to the gate and when we got to our connection the door was closed and the local agent would not let us on, even though the posted departure time was still 10 minutes away. Needless to say, we have become somewhat disenchanted with the crew at DIA. I'm not even going to get into our rental car experience!
Now back to the future, today that is. In one respect we were fortunate even though there was a 2 1/2 hour delay from LAX (I must disregard the fact that the only nourishment available was an old, stale biscotti and a couple of breakfast bars). Our fortune rested on the 3 1/2 hour layover in Denver. We had hoped to get some food there but when we finally arrived we had about 20 minutes (and 8 gates to go) before our next plane departed. When we got to the designated gate, guess what????? --- no plane, no agent, no nothing. So, being the curious type I went back to check the departure monitor again and yep, there it was, Omaha - gate 45 but still there was no one and nothing there. I finally found an agent willing to talk although I had clearly annoyed him by interrupting his flirtation with a young lady and he pointed to a gate that said the flight for Oklahoma City was now boarding. Since it stared with an O we decided to give it a chance and lo and behold we found gold.
Remember the baby (above)? Well I found another one on the last leg and I specifically remember asking to be seated in the no baby zone. The poor thing (about 4 months old) did not like to fly but the noise he made was not as irritating as the tinker bell flight attendant breaking up ice was. I think he was using a chopstick to break it up and I could picture him crawling down the isle with a large stick up his bum (tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap)...enough already.
The moral of this story is if you must travel (fly), don't go through Denver, they won't be expecting you and also try to avoid LAX, there are just to many people. I must say though that they do a good job of moving people through checkout and security at LAX. I think they got their training at Disneyland.
But before I finish the story, I must go back in time to our original departure date for our trip to La La land.
While I sat wondering how loud the baby behind me was going to be (actually not bad) and mostly ignoring the safety Nazi's presentation for people too stupid to figure out how to slide the silver slot into the buckle, the kid in the window seat pondered (out loud) how cool it would be to crash land in the water. My thought was that it would not really be cool at all and the longer I sat on the plane I was wishing that I had a fatter ass or the cushion had more padding.
When we finally got to Denver, it seems everyone at the airport there was surprised that a plane had landed. After our taxi ride to the gate, quite rudely, no one was waiting for us.....no one at the Jetway. This was the 2nd time in two tries through Denver that the entire airport staff was astounded that a plane would have to audacity to show up unannounced. The first time we had snow removal equipment blocking the path to the gate and when we got to our connection the door was closed and the local agent would not let us on, even though the posted departure time was still 10 minutes away. Needless to say, we have become somewhat disenchanted with the crew at DIA. I'm not even going to get into our rental car experience!
Now back to the future, today that is. In one respect we were fortunate even though there was a 2 1/2 hour delay from LAX (I must disregard the fact that the only nourishment available was an old, stale biscotti and a couple of breakfast bars). Our fortune rested on the 3 1/2 hour layover in Denver. We had hoped to get some food there but when we finally arrived we had about 20 minutes (and 8 gates to go) before our next plane departed. When we got to the designated gate, guess what????? --- no plane, no agent, no nothing. So, being the curious type I went back to check the departure monitor again and yep, there it was, Omaha - gate 45 but still there was no one and nothing there. I finally found an agent willing to talk although I had clearly annoyed him by interrupting his flirtation with a young lady and he pointed to a gate that said the flight for Oklahoma City was now boarding. Since it stared with an O we decided to give it a chance and lo and behold we found gold.
Remember the baby (above)? Well I found another one on the last leg and I specifically remember asking to be seated in the no baby zone. The poor thing (about 4 months old) did not like to fly but the noise he made was not as irritating as the tinker bell flight attendant breaking up ice was. I think he was using a chopstick to break it up and I could picture him crawling down the isle with a large stick up his bum (tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap)...enough already.
The moral of this story is if you must travel (fly), don't go through Denver, they won't be expecting you and also try to avoid LAX, there are just to many people. I must say though that they do a good job of moving people through checkout and security at LAX. I think they got their training at Disneyland.
Friday, July 27, 2007
MMMMMMMMMMMM Ice Cream
More pics:
Enjoying some liquid refreshment on day 1.
At the Mad Hatters
Disneyland Trashcan Band
There is a place in the town that NK and I grew up in that pulls on us like a magnet every time we are within 50 miles of the place. It is legendary for it's ice cream, especially the chocolate and in the good ole summertime, fresh peach.......it even has chunks of peaches in almost every bite.
So far we have been back there twice, the first time we each got a large chocolate shake (and even at $5 something each it is worth it), yesterday we shared a peach. I think I will get another peach tomorrow on the way back to LA LA land and the airport.
There are other things we look for whenever we visit the old stomping grounds, things like good Chinese food, good Mexican food and salami (no such thing as good dry italian salami at home so we always take some back) . If I had to rank the above, the Chinese food comes first, then the salami, then the Mexican food but only because there are some good Mexican restaurants in Omaha. The Chinese food there does not compare to what you can get in California, I only wish we were closer to SF right now.
Since we will head toward home tomorrow I'll be silent for a day but I should have a good air travel story to share since that is always an adventure.
Enjoying some liquid refreshment on day 1.
At the Mad Hatters
Disneyland Trashcan Band
There is a place in the town that NK and I grew up in that pulls on us like a magnet every time we are within 50 miles of the place. It is legendary for it's ice cream, especially the chocolate and in the good ole summertime, fresh peach.......it even has chunks of peaches in almost every bite.
So far we have been back there twice, the first time we each got a large chocolate shake (and even at $5 something each it is worth it), yesterday we shared a peach. I think I will get another peach tomorrow on the way back to LA LA land and the airport.
There are other things we look for whenever we visit the old stomping grounds, things like good Chinese food, good Mexican food and salami (no such thing as good dry italian salami at home so we always take some back) . If I had to rank the above, the Chinese food comes first, then the salami, then the Mexican food but only because there are some good Mexican restaurants in Omaha. The Chinese food there does not compare to what you can get in California, I only wish we were closer to SF right now.
Since we will head toward home tomorrow I'll be silent for a day but I should have a good air travel story to share since that is always an adventure.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Home Again
Today we went to NK's Mom & Dads for a little visit. Her mom is what I would call a closet racist. Today it was directed at the Chinese in the small town we grew up in. She said she hated the chink that was running the local dairy. Most of the time she hates the spics, sometimes the Japanese (although for the life of me I can't figure out why she likes them most of the time and why she separates them from the Chinese). She always hates the dark ones. She considers herself to be a fine upstanding christian woman so I always have a real problem with that and with every visit we make her attitude seems to get worse. Maybe it's not that you can 't go home again, you just don't want to.
Oh, one thing that floored me. When NK was talking about getting a spider bite on her thigh, her mom said make sure they don't nest in your TWAT. NK said "that's my mom", I learned that word from her. This got me thinking about the origin of the word (I do that sometimes). According to most sites, it appears to be of Norse origin (cut or slit) from the mid 1600's, though the exact origin is listed as unknown. There was also a reference to clearing a forest, maybe that's what they are doing when the lumber company clear cuts an area, keeping the Twats safe from spiders. That is probably why Pres. Regan was such an avid clear cut advocate, he wanted to keep spiders from Nancy's slit.
Here are some more pics from DL:
K and Snow White at Dinner on Saturday
With NK's hat.
Oh, one thing that floored me. When NK was talking about getting a spider bite on her thigh, her mom said make sure they don't nest in your TWAT. NK said "that's my mom", I learned that word from her. This got me thinking about the origin of the word (I do that sometimes). According to most sites, it appears to be of Norse origin (cut or slit) from the mid 1600's, though the exact origin is listed as unknown. There was also a reference to clearing a forest, maybe that's what they are doing when the lumber company clear cuts an area, keeping the Twats safe from spiders. That is probably why Pres. Regan was such an avid clear cut advocate, he wanted to keep spiders from Nancy's slit.
Here are some more pics from DL:
K and Snow White at Dinner on Saturday
From left to right, a Purple Haze and a Zoolander at the UVA Bar.
We tried to have a few each night.
CK was glaring at someone here!
This was before she had her Zoolander!
With NK's hat.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
The Aftermath
Now that CK is done whining about the 7.5 million people in the way of that one very special person I'll post a few pictures:
1. Nana, K, CK & Mr. K on the Teacups.
2. Mr. K at the Dude Ranch
3. CK, K, DK and NK in a Teacup
4. CK bites the bone ball
5. Pensive K
Of course all had a great time, just stay away from New Orleans Square during the fireworks.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Going, Going, Gone
Since we will be off to fantasyland (southern california) early tomorrow I will not post again until Wednesday when we get to GGKaos' place. I'll try to get some pics posted then.
Ta Ta.
Ta Ta.
PG-13
A few post’s back, Camikaos mentioned a shopping trip for some new bras to lift her spirits and keep the girls happy after her laptop decided it did not like her anymore.
That got me a thinkin about what a guy might do (that was the subject tip). While some may fancy a new bra (I don’t know any but they are out there), most guys only want to protect the boys. But shopping for a couple pair of crotch keepers just doesn’t do much for me or, I would imagine, any other guy. We only buy them when we don’t have any choice and when it is real hot, I don’t especially care about them at all and sometimes the boys do like their freedom.
Aside from that, most guys I know don’t shop, they buy. They know what they are going to get, where to look and they get it. That is what separates the sexes. But none of that answers the question about what a guy does when they hit a downer and the amazing thing is, I haven’t the foggiest….maybe I’ll pop some corn, drink a beer, watch a movie and think about it some.
That got me a thinkin about what a guy might do (that was the subject tip). While some may fancy a new bra (I don’t know any but they are out there), most guys only want to protect the boys. But shopping for a couple pair of crotch keepers just doesn’t do much for me or, I would imagine, any other guy. We only buy them when we don’t have any choice and when it is real hot, I don’t especially care about them at all and sometimes the boys do like their freedom.
Aside from that, most guys I know don’t shop, they buy. They know what they are going to get, where to look and they get it. That is what separates the sexes. But none of that answers the question about what a guy does when they hit a downer and the amazing thing is, I haven’t the foggiest….maybe I’ll pop some corn, drink a beer, watch a movie and think about it some.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Concerned Citizen Award to FEMA?
F.E.M.A
Now some of you may think you know what that acronym stands for, the Federal Emergency Management Agency, right? Wrong. F.E.M.A actually stands for Fuck Every Miserable American (and those who soon will be).
Its latest endeavors have again impacted the victims of Katrina and Rita. How much more will these people have to suffer? For christs sake, it has been almost 2 years now and it has just come out that the trailers provided as shelter are laced with formaldehyde.
Since it was discovered in 2006, the agencies legal beagles decided that it would not be in FEMA’s interest to conduct testing to confirm the existence of the problem. They rejected environmental testing out of fear that the agency would then become legally liable if health problems emerged among as many as 120,000 families displaced by the hurricane.
This is one of our finest hours (tongue in cheek and governments hand up our ass) and to me it’s worse than what Ford did after they discovered the flaws with the Pinto gas tank. We have a Federal Agency covering up the possibility of health problems that already suffering people may face just to avoid some liability. Well guess what jackoff’s, the liability is still there and now it may cost even more (and a few deaths, but you don’t really care if a few people die do you?). What’s really sad is that there are still around 60,000 still living in trailers, apparently with no plans to remedy that either (hell, we don’t have a plan to extricate our troops, why should we have a plan to help Katrina victims?).
And I haven’t even mentioned the 12.5 million-dollar ice storage bill. They continue to play ping-pong with the ice, shipping it from one facility to another at a cost of about $9,000.00 per move. Not to worry though, no one will ever see any of it, much of it has exceeded its shelf life and is being destroyed.
It sure is a good thing this is the best country in the world, I'd hate to think of what it would be like to live here if it wasn't!
Now some of you may think you know what that acronym stands for, the Federal Emergency Management Agency, right? Wrong. F.E.M.A actually stands for Fuck Every Miserable American (and those who soon will be).
Its latest endeavors have again impacted the victims of Katrina and Rita. How much more will these people have to suffer? For christs sake, it has been almost 2 years now and it has just come out that the trailers provided as shelter are laced with formaldehyde.
Since it was discovered in 2006, the agencies legal beagles decided that it would not be in FEMA’s interest to conduct testing to confirm the existence of the problem. They rejected environmental testing out of fear that the agency would then become legally liable if health problems emerged among as many as 120,000 families displaced by the hurricane.
This is one of our finest hours (tongue in cheek and governments hand up our ass) and to me it’s worse than what Ford did after they discovered the flaws with the Pinto gas tank. We have a Federal Agency covering up the possibility of health problems that already suffering people may face just to avoid some liability. Well guess what jackoff’s, the liability is still there and now it may cost even more (and a few deaths, but you don’t really care if a few people die do you?). What’s really sad is that there are still around 60,000 still living in trailers, apparently with no plans to remedy that either (hell, we don’t have a plan to extricate our troops, why should we have a plan to help Katrina victims?).
And I haven’t even mentioned the 12.5 million-dollar ice storage bill. They continue to play ping-pong with the ice, shipping it from one facility to another at a cost of about $9,000.00 per move. Not to worry though, no one will ever see any of it, much of it has exceeded its shelf life and is being destroyed.
It sure is a good thing this is the best country in the world, I'd hate to think of what it would be like to live here if it wasn't!
Anniversary
On November 10, 1968, while sitting in my Plymouth Road Runner (metallic blue, circa 1968) I proposed to NK while we were parked behind Bert’s Drive In (good chili boats and better french fries). I took it back shortly thereafter because I realized it was the anniversary of the founding of the Marine Corps and I did not want to remember that day that way. So, the official date became 11/11/68 (of course that is Veterans Day but that was OK as long as the USMC was not directly involved). Another part of that was that on 11/10/66, I was wounded for the first time and I don’t really like to think about that too much either.
Eight months later (38 years ago today), NK and I tied the proverbial knot. Now this leads me to another life’s most embarrassing moments. This happened while getting dressed for the Wedding. I was at my parent’s house and naturally they had a house full of guests, one of them was a person I really had no use for.
The embarrassment started with her. When I put my Tux pants on and attempted to zip up the fly, the fly died on me. The damned thing came apart like a tree hit by lightening, just split right down the middle. Needless to say, this was somewhat disconcerting. I was going to be married in about 2 hours with an air conditioned willie if we couldn’t get it fixed.
While I’m standing in the living room talking to someone and pondering the dilemma, this lady (using the term verrrrrry loosely) comes up and starts to reach for my crotch. Not on your life, woman. I guess she thought she had magic fingers that would repair the zipper with a little touch. The bad part is, I couldn’t react fast enough to get away from her. I’m just glad there aren’t any pictures. I just wouldn’t look right her pulling at my crotch like that.
The zipper was finally patched together with a couple of safety pins so I went through the wedding and reception with a no fly zone. If I had to go, the pants had to hit the floor.
Happy Anniversary NK
Eight months later (38 years ago today), NK and I tied the proverbial knot. Now this leads me to another life’s most embarrassing moments. This happened while getting dressed for the Wedding. I was at my parent’s house and naturally they had a house full of guests, one of them was a person I really had no use for.
The embarrassment started with her. When I put my Tux pants on and attempted to zip up the fly, the fly died on me. The damned thing came apart like a tree hit by lightening, just split right down the middle. Needless to say, this was somewhat disconcerting. I was going to be married in about 2 hours with an air conditioned willie if we couldn’t get it fixed.
While I’m standing in the living room talking to someone and pondering the dilemma, this lady (using the term verrrrrry loosely) comes up and starts to reach for my crotch. Not on your life, woman. I guess she thought she had magic fingers that would repair the zipper with a little touch. The bad part is, I couldn’t react fast enough to get away from her. I’m just glad there aren’t any pictures. I just wouldn’t look right her pulling at my crotch like that.
The zipper was finally patched together with a couple of safety pins so I went through the wedding and reception with a no fly zone. If I had to go, the pants had to hit the floor.
Happy Anniversary NK
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Dining Out
There has been another challenge this week, that of the five favorite eating establishments. Well, mine will not be limited to one location since I used to be a very well traveled individual and I will not really limit them to five (well no more than five per city maybe).. They will include a varied variety of food types as well. Some are in memory order, not necessarily the best and not necessarily the best establishment of fine food.
1st – The Ritz Café – Early, Early Childhood and a little Mexican restaurant my dad and I went to on Fridays before we went to high school football games. He somehow always got access to the sidelines so we were right on top of the action.
2nd - From my early days (childhood), the Yturri. This is a Basque restaurant where all meals (7 courses) were served family style. While the steak was fabulous, my memory always takes me back to the shrimp potato salad. The time with my dad & mom and siblings was priceless. Later years included NK.
3rd– Any home in Vietnam (including the little bar where they served the egg salad sandwiches). I spent quite a bit of time with civilians in Vietnam and was fortunate (????) enough to have been invited into their homes to share meals with them. While most of the time it was limited to rice and fishhead soup (they were peasant farmers after all), it was a large part of my life at that time. As Nixon called it, our job was to Vietnamize the war. So a large part of our time was spent with the local population. While I did not really enjoy fishhead soup (they just kept bringing it and I would try to toss it out the door), we did get quite loaded on the rice wine.
4th – This is where my travels come in (though some are from where we lived). In Memphis, Corky’s BBQ, simply mouthwatering. In New Orleans, just about anyplace, but Carriere’s (a good friends house) stands out. In Houston, Papadeaux’s (soft shelled crab), El Toro (Taco’s al carbon), Louie’s on the Lake, Shanghai Reds, Hickory Hollow (BBQ), Lynchburg Landing and the San Jacinto Inn. (just to name a few). In Denver, there is the Broker, an excellent steakhouse in an old bank vault. El Paso, Phoenix and Tucson, all have excellent Mexican restaurants.
5th – Other places I’ve been or places I’ve lived: San Francisco, Scouma’s (try the Cioppino), Phil Lear’s (probably not there anymore), and a little Chinese restaurant on Post St. in Japantown (you can’t get any better Chinese food than this in any other city). Portland, Oregon – Springwater’s (great weekend brunch), Eleni's Estiatorio – best lamp chops I’ve ever had, Eagles Thai Restaurant and FuJin (you’ve got to try the crispy, spicy eggplant). Oh yeah, I forgot Murillos and Helen and Neds in Vacaville and a little Mongolian BBQ spot in Eugene.
1st – The Ritz Café – Early, Early Childhood and a little Mexican restaurant my dad and I went to on Fridays before we went to high school football games. He somehow always got access to the sidelines so we were right on top of the action.
2nd - From my early days (childhood), the Yturri. This is a Basque restaurant where all meals (7 courses) were served family style. While the steak was fabulous, my memory always takes me back to the shrimp potato salad. The time with my dad & mom and siblings was priceless. Later years included NK.
3rd– Any home in Vietnam (including the little bar where they served the egg salad sandwiches). I spent quite a bit of time with civilians in Vietnam and was fortunate (????) enough to have been invited into their homes to share meals with them. While most of the time it was limited to rice and fishhead soup (they were peasant farmers after all), it was a large part of my life at that time. As Nixon called it, our job was to Vietnamize the war. So a large part of our time was spent with the local population. While I did not really enjoy fishhead soup (they just kept bringing it and I would try to toss it out the door), we did get quite loaded on the rice wine.
4th – This is where my travels come in (though some are from where we lived). In Memphis, Corky’s BBQ, simply mouthwatering. In New Orleans, just about anyplace, but Carriere’s (a good friends house) stands out. In Houston, Papadeaux’s (soft shelled crab), El Toro (Taco’s al carbon), Louie’s on the Lake, Shanghai Reds, Hickory Hollow (BBQ), Lynchburg Landing and the San Jacinto Inn. (just to name a few). In Denver, there is the Broker, an excellent steakhouse in an old bank vault. El Paso, Phoenix and Tucson, all have excellent Mexican restaurants.
5th – Other places I’ve been or places I’ve lived: San Francisco, Scouma’s (try the Cioppino), Phil Lear’s (probably not there anymore), and a little Chinese restaurant on Post St. in Japantown (you can’t get any better Chinese food than this in any other city). Portland, Oregon – Springwater’s (great weekend brunch), Eleni's Estiatorio – best lamp chops I’ve ever had, Eagles Thai Restaurant and FuJin (you’ve got to try the crispy, spicy eggplant). Oh yeah, I forgot Murillos and Helen and Neds in Vacaville and a little Mongolian BBQ spot in Eugene.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Challenge
This is a late response to the challenge from mielikki on lifes embarrassing moments.
We have had a life’s embarrassing moment challenge. While it may not have been as devastating as showing my ass in front of 200 men waiting for chow, it was somewhat disturbing.
While the act itself wasn’t the embarrassing part, the follow-up was. I was home from Vietnam for 30 days and my uncle let me use my cousins MGB while I was home so I thought I was pretty cool driving around town. I was sitting in the car at the local A&W doing some people watching when this very hot young thing caught my eye. Because that happened another hot thing landed right in my belly button.
I had a cigarette dangling from my lips and the damned thing fell from my mouth while I was gawking and commenting to someone else in the car about the shape of the fine young lady. While I was able to remove the butt, the ash stayed put and burned just enough to cause quite a bit of discomfort. My friend laughed his ass off, the gal did not notice but I had to get something to heal the burn.
Now this all happened in 1967 and NK and I had been on again off again and on at the time and it turned out that the only person close by that could help was NK. This was the embarrassing part, I had to explain how I got burned. She still reminds me every once in awhile but at least since I quit smoking at least I won’t do that again.
That is not even close to the embarrassment an unnamed relative would feel if they knew the entire neighborhood was watching the car rocking and rolling early one morning.
I'll cover another embarrassment in my life on 7/19.
We have had a life’s embarrassing moment challenge. While it may not have been as devastating as showing my ass in front of 200 men waiting for chow, it was somewhat disturbing.
While the act itself wasn’t the embarrassing part, the follow-up was. I was home from Vietnam for 30 days and my uncle let me use my cousins MGB while I was home so I thought I was pretty cool driving around town. I was sitting in the car at the local A&W doing some people watching when this very hot young thing caught my eye. Because that happened another hot thing landed right in my belly button.
I had a cigarette dangling from my lips and the damned thing fell from my mouth while I was gawking and commenting to someone else in the car about the shape of the fine young lady. While I was able to remove the butt, the ash stayed put and burned just enough to cause quite a bit of discomfort. My friend laughed his ass off, the gal did not notice but I had to get something to heal the burn.
Now this all happened in 1967 and NK and I had been on again off again and on at the time and it turned out that the only person close by that could help was NK. This was the embarrassing part, I had to explain how I got burned. She still reminds me every once in awhile but at least since I quit smoking at least I won’t do that again.
That is not even close to the embarrassment an unnamed relative would feel if they knew the entire neighborhood was watching the car rocking and rolling early one morning.
I'll cover another embarrassment in my life on 7/19.
This day in history
Good morning class. In today's lesson we will review famous events from previous July 17th's.
First and formost on my mind is the opening of
guess
any one who said Disneyland gets 10 points. Yes, on 7/17/55, Disneyland opened it's magic gates. The first day it was not open to the public, just special guests and the media. When it opened to the public the next day, there was a charge to enter the park and they also sold coupon books with A through C coupons. As the better rides opened the books included D & E coupons. You could also buy the coupons individually. From what I remember, there were never enough E coupons and of course every thrill ride was referred to as an E Ticket ride from then on out (why I even remember using that phrase after I rolled our explorer)
In 1982, they went to the single admission. I can't remember what it was then but in 1999 a one day pass was $39.00. Today the same one park, one day pass is $63.00. The only reason I bring this up is on Saturday we are meeting little K for her first trip there. I don't know who is more excited, NK, CamiK, CaptK or moi. I know when we get there, little K will be beside herself.
First and formost on my mind is the opening of
guess
any one who said Disneyland gets 10 points. Yes, on 7/17/55, Disneyland opened it's magic gates. The first day it was not open to the public, just special guests and the media. When it opened to the public the next day, there was a charge to enter the park and they also sold coupon books with A through C coupons. As the better rides opened the books included D & E coupons. You could also buy the coupons individually. From what I remember, there were never enough E coupons and of course every thrill ride was referred to as an E Ticket ride from then on out (why I even remember using that phrase after I rolled our explorer)
In 1982, they went to the single admission. I can't remember what it was then but in 1999 a one day pass was $39.00. Today the same one park, one day pass is $63.00. The only reason I bring this up is on Saturday we are meeting little K for her first trip there. I don't know who is more excited, NK, CamiK, CaptK or moi. I know when we get there, little K will be beside herself.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Mixed Bag
NFL season just around the corner
Hello sports fans, did you know we are just a little over a month away from NFL football? Yes, that’s right, in just about 6 weeks Sunday’s will be dominated by the NFL once again. Depending on your time zone from 10AM (Pacific Time) for about 9 hours you will have non-stop football each Sunday until mid-January. Oh, don’t forget about Monday Night Football and the occasional Thursday night game, not to mention college football Saturday. Stay tuned, this reporter will keep you informed of all of the NFL news, including which NFL star is the latest to be arrested.
In other news:
Catholic’s on parade
The Los Angeles Archdiocese has reached an out of court settlement in the amount of $660,000,000.00 (that is six hundred and sixty MILLION DINEROS) because some priests could not keep their hands (or other body parts) off (or from within) children entrusted to them. This is in addition to the $157 million in settlements by the Boston faithful and the $219 million from the Portland, Oregon pricks. Do we see any kind of a trend here? And we are just talking about the Catholics, who is keeping tabs on the rest of the other denominations?
I hope it was good
Police in Columbia S.C. are investigating how a naked couple fell 50 feet from the roof of a downtown office building to their deaths. The bodies were found on the road by a passing cabdriver around 5 a.m. Wednesday. Clothing was discovered on the roof, leading authorities to suspect the man and woman, in their early 20s, may have been having sex.
I guess we can expect another execution in China.
Defamation of character
And finally, my brother believes that I have defamed his character and he now intends to sue me. Below is the note I received from him yesterday followed by my response.
I am at mother's place reviewing your web log. Obviously, I will never get the chance to run for President after this (as Beer & Wine Party nominee). I have retained Johnny Cochran as my legal counsel in order to sue you for this defamation. You have obviously pasted my head on a picture of Barishnikov, or some other ballet dancer. Although I must admit the subject of the picture does look graceful, it is NOT ME!
Johnny will be contacting you soon.
Your brother,
My response:
You may have already left Mother’s (sounds a little uppity, I just call her Mom) but I just wanted to let you know that I am looking forward to hearing from Johnny. I haven't spoken to him since I swapped gloves with him quite a few years back and I have quite a few more pictures to show him that I'm positive he will enjoy.
If you can’t be president, maybe you can try for first laaaaaaaaady, you do resemble Jerry Lewis a little in the picture.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Lady Bird
Something is happening and it's running around inside my head, pounding on the skull trying to get out. I'm not going to let it though. Out of respect for Mrs. LBJ my page will be silenced today, one day only.
Bye bye Birdie, rest in peace. http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/biographys.hom/ladybird_bio.asp
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Reality?
Is anyone out there as fed up with the so-called "reality" shows as I am? I’m not just talking about shows like Big Brother and Survivor. I’m just as fed up with American Idol, Dancing with the Stars and all of the other "Crap TV" shows.
Let’s take a moment to define reality. According to Miriam-Webster’s on-line dictionary reality is "the quality or state of being real". Now I will admit that some TV shows like the police video shows can be classified as "real". But shows that are staged are not and I don’t care what anyone else says!
If anyone reading this watches them faithfully, I don’t mean to offend you but you must have fecal matter in your head. Who gives a shit if Cliff Clavin can dance or even Jerry Springer. They must really be hard up to keep their name in public, even more so than some of those half-assed actors doing commercials. Emmett Smith should have all of his football awards burned and the Dallas Cowboys should remove any reference to his being a player on the team and the same for Jerry Rice and the 49ers. Shame on both of you.
If you want reality, spend a little time walking around outside. Enjoy nature, do some people watching; you might see something interesting like the person NK and I saw in a local hardware store awhile back. It’s hard to describe her exactly but lets just say that she was wearing a double set of thong underwear (black lace and white lace) over her rather ratty/baggy blue jeans. Holding up the jeans was a large black silver studded belt. She belonged in San Francisco, not Iowa. Upstairs was nothing special, just a hot pink stretched out T-shirt under a tan cord jacket. With her hair dyed black the whiteness of her face was only offset by her dark blood red lips. Picture a overweight Marilyn Manson. Now that is about as real as a person can get
Let’s take a moment to define reality. According to Miriam-Webster’s on-line dictionary reality is "the quality or state of being real". Now I will admit that some TV shows like the police video shows can be classified as "real". But shows that are staged are not and I don’t care what anyone else says!
If anyone reading this watches them faithfully, I don’t mean to offend you but you must have fecal matter in your head. Who gives a shit if Cliff Clavin can dance or even Jerry Springer. They must really be hard up to keep their name in public, even more so than some of those half-assed actors doing commercials. Emmett Smith should have all of his football awards burned and the Dallas Cowboys should remove any reference to his being a player on the team and the same for Jerry Rice and the 49ers. Shame on both of you.
If you want reality, spend a little time walking around outside. Enjoy nature, do some people watching; you might see something interesting like the person NK and I saw in a local hardware store awhile back. It’s hard to describe her exactly but lets just say that she was wearing a double set of thong underwear (black lace and white lace) over her rather ratty/baggy blue jeans. Holding up the jeans was a large black silver studded belt. She belonged in San Francisco, not Iowa. Upstairs was nothing special, just a hot pink stretched out T-shirt under a tan cord jacket. With her hair dyed black the whiteness of her face was only offset by her dark blood red lips. Picture a overweight Marilyn Manson. Now that is about as real as a person can get
Friday, July 13, 2007
Hot off the press
Try this in your hot tub. The latest trend in Japan is a nice soak in Ramen noodles, complete with Soy Sauce so I guess you can soak and eat (Eeew at that thought) at the same time. I wonder if you can request different flavor packets, you know, sometimes you feel like a shrimp sometimes you don't.
I wonder how long it will take this to get to good ole California?
I know, I already posted once today but somethings I just can't resist.
I wonder how long it will take this to get to good ole California?
I know, I already posted once today but somethings I just can't resist.
MMMMMM GUMBO
Remember that smoked turkey from 7/4? Well, it’s all gone now because NK made gumbo. I have a lot of gumbo memories. While I was still slaving my life away and traveling all of the time I was able to take NK on one of my business trips. This one just happened to be to New Orleans. My entire team was there and we all decided it would be good if the wives could come and spend some time together while we were doing our business thing. This is when NK learned to make gumbo.
She learned how from a former San Diego Chargers football player named Kevin Belton. At 6’9" and at 400 lbs. he is quite a presence. His cooking class is at the New Orleans School of Cooking. Man can he cook and the class was a gas. So if you ever get to New Orleans, take the class they offer, you will have a great time and learn to cook some great stuff.
But this is about gumbo. If you look up the word gumbo you will find that gumbo is derived from a West African word for okra. NK NEVER PUTS OKRA IN HER GUMBO, IT’S A TEXTURE THING. She normally cooks a whole chicken in a crock-pot the day before the making the gumbo (this is why CK does not usually make gumbo, she can’t stand to skin the bird). The next step is to make the roux, equal parts flour and oil. This takes patience because you have to continually stir the mix until it reaches a light chocolate color. Once that is done, the trinity (celery, onion & bell pepper), the chicken, the broth (remember the crock-pot, use that broth) and the andouille (Cajun smoked sausage) are added. Now you can’t use just any andouille. Most of the stuff you see in grocery stores is crap. We get ours shipped to us from Jacobs in New Orleans (http://www.cajunsausage.com/) but if you can find a good meat market that makes sausage you might try that. Simmer the results for about 4 to 6 hours or until the desired thickness has been reached.
When I was still a member of the working class, a friend that I worked with would cook gumbo while we were on the road (we frequently stayed at Residence Inns just so we could cook – I would usually make spaghetti, he would make gumbo). I think anyone that stayed in his room after he left probably got hungry every time they went into the room, just from the leftover fragrance.
She learned how from a former San Diego Chargers football player named Kevin Belton. At 6’9" and at 400 lbs. he is quite a presence. His cooking class is at the New Orleans School of Cooking. Man can he cook and the class was a gas. So if you ever get to New Orleans, take the class they offer, you will have a great time and learn to cook some great stuff.
But this is about gumbo. If you look up the word gumbo you will find that gumbo is derived from a West African word for okra. NK NEVER PUTS OKRA IN HER GUMBO, IT’S A TEXTURE THING. She normally cooks a whole chicken in a crock-pot the day before the making the gumbo (this is why CK does not usually make gumbo, she can’t stand to skin the bird). The next step is to make the roux, equal parts flour and oil. This takes patience because you have to continually stir the mix until it reaches a light chocolate color. Once that is done, the trinity (celery, onion & bell pepper), the chicken, the broth (remember the crock-pot, use that broth) and the andouille (Cajun smoked sausage) are added. Now you can’t use just any andouille. Most of the stuff you see in grocery stores is crap. We get ours shipped to us from Jacobs in New Orleans (http://www.cajunsausage.com/) but if you can find a good meat market that makes sausage you might try that. Simmer the results for about 4 to 6 hours or until the desired thickness has been reached.
When I was still a member of the working class, a friend that I worked with would cook gumbo while we were on the road (we frequently stayed at Residence Inns just so we could cook – I would usually make spaghetti, he would make gumbo). I think anyone that stayed in his room after he left probably got hungry every time they went into the room, just from the leftover fragrance.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Short but sweet
I know a bitch of an MIL...not going to say who but when she says her GD (that be little K) is no one special, she is a bitch in my world.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
