Smoked Turkey

I was going to devote my dribble today on smoked turkey because I finally attempted one (and CK told me to talk about it) and let me tell you it was goooooood. I tried to smoke some chicken once but it wouldn’t fit in the little papers I bought at the Quickiemart (ouch, wrong story). No, it came out real dry because I did not know about brine and brine is the key to it all. I digress though because I changed my mind after flipping back and forth between CBS and PBS last night. CBS had the Boston Pops, PBS was coming from D.C.

While the fireworks were popping in the Boston sky, someone got the bright idea to play some Billy Joe Bob, shitkicking slop. Now I don’t mind country music but with my fireworks I want John Fucking Phillips Sousa and that is what PBS provided. So if anyone from CBS and Boston reads this, knock of the Tennessee knee slapping horseshit and give us a march, just a march.

Oh, and did I mention that the turkey was good. NK said she won't eat turkey cooked any other way.

One other note, I am available, for a nominal fee and travel expense (my assistant and I only fly first class), to cook for anyone, anywhere, anytime. I’ve already been told I have to cook another turkey next year on the 4th so cross that off of your calendars (maybe we will have some Oreo cookie ice cream too). I will share any recipe for free if my fee is not acceptable.