A Christmas Letter - Day 10

You miserable son of a bitch:

Now there are ten ladies (the whores are pole dancing) here and I assume that you gave them my address. Someone told them that the Piper brothers were here so they showed up for a little action. The fucking maids are are furious and have started throwing cow shit at all of them. My whole house is a river of shit.

The partridge, the turtle doves and the calling birds are all dead, crushed in the stampede and I had to bake the hens and roast the geese just to feed all of the miscreant bitches and bastards you sent.

Now the police have my house under 24 hour surveillance and yesterday when the one Piper brother went after the cow, it turns out that he wasn't really a butcher, the cops took him away after he mounted the thing from behind.

You should know this, I gave the police your address and told them that you are responsible for all of this. If you show your face around here now I will have you arrested on sight you cocksucker.

HC