Monday, December 17, 2007

No Snow, Just Rain

After tromping through the snow in my travel sandals (I no longer wear shoes to the airport, easy on easy off is my motto) at 0500 yesterday I made my way back to the terminal after parking the car. Another motto I now have is that I always use the Quick Park, unload, check bags, get boarding pass and then park the car. Of course all of this is because of the color Orange.

Anyone at any airport knows that the current threat level is Orange. Someone with a pleasant voice that makes me think of a certain California Governor in the airport scene in The Running Man tells us over and over and over about ratting on anyone suspicious like they want us all to feel warm and comfortable, assured that the faithful TSA employees are there for our protection.

I've been throught quite a few airports the past 6 years and many of the "Security" people I've seen couldn't keep a grain of sand dry in the middle of the Gobi desert (you see it does not rain much there and, well you get the picture).

What I'm not sure of is what other colors exist, is there a green? If there is does that mean that all of the TSA employee's that I see body searching suspicious looking 90 year old ladies to see if they have any C4 strapped to their body will go away? And what changes are made when the threat level is reduced (I think there is a yellow - does that mean we can carry our .80 cent bottle of water through security instead of having to pay $3.50 in the gate area).

Probably not.

I know there is Red level (they always use red to scare the shit out of us). I take it that means you can't take anything on the plane with you and cavity searches begin.

At least all of my travels have been domestic, hate to think what it would be like if I was leaving the country or worse yet, trying to get back. I'm really surprised that with all of our arrogance we rely on the security of foreigners.

At least they gave me something to think about after the safety nazi's got done with their spiel. I'm trying to think of a way that I can go down the emergency slide with my feet behind me. The only options I can see are to dislocate my legs at the hip and turn them around or go down head first.


CamiKaos said...

of course they can't keep the sand dry, they have all those confiscated water bottles!

mielikki said...

brrr, travel sandals! I understand the necessity, though

Bubblewench said...

i do the slip on slip offs, with thick socks.